This Dude Has Had A Really Bad Month

December 15, 2014

Kory Watkins is President of Open Carry Tarrant County (Fort Worth).  He’s a gun exhibitionist, which is kinda like a pole dancer but the pole has a trigger.

Screen Shot 2014-12-15 at 12.33.17 PMTo start the month off, there was a witty little visit from Missy Karma. Kory was out pitching hissy fits at a DUI safety checkpoint set up by Arlington police.  Kory doesn’t believe in checkpoints so to make his statement, he screamed obscenities at the police while they were conducting the checkpoint.  He also spent time warning drivers that there was a checkpoint down the road.  So, of damn course, on the way home he gets rear ended by … yep … a drunk driver.

But he thinks you’re “sick” if you see any humor in that.

“I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it’s funny that the cops helped me,” Watkins said. “Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I’m trying to figure out where they helped me any….. Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?”

The ticket was for driving without a valid license.  Kory doesn’t believe in valid licenses.

Kory has difficulty with that whole time continuum thingy.  If the cops had stopped the drunk driver at the checkpoint, Kory would not have been hit.

He then proceeded to try to raise money to pay his fine and buy a new car because walking around with a big pole doesn’t pay near as well as you’d suspect.  Kory also doesn’t believe in insurance.

Then, one of his recruits and members in good standing, kills her husband and his daughter with a gun.  That she was openly carrying.  Kory does not believe a gun did that despite bullet holes.

And now, well, it looks like he’s not going to believe in the Secret Service.

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I dunno.  That kinda sounds a little bit like, you know, armed freekin’ rebellion.

I don’t believe in that.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

I Do Not Want To Know This Guy’s Fantasies

December 15, 2014

Pastor Ed James from the Bertha Chapel Missionary Baptist in Jackson, Mississippi, has himself some powerfully strong feelings about marriage equality.

A Mississippi pastor brought a horse in a wedding dress to stand with him outside a federal courthouse on Friday in Jackson to protest a federal judge’s ruling, currently on hold, to overturn the socially conservative state’s ban on gay marriage.

Seriously, a horse in a wedding dress.

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We think it was a girl horse but from the way the horse is dressed, it’s hard to tell.  Besides, that style is soooooo dated.  I do not know if Pastor James’ wife wore that dress prior to it being used to shame people, so I won’t speculate.  Much.

Pastor James asked passerby if they wanted to marry a horse.

No one was more perverted than Pastor James, who is obviously having some pretty weird thoughts.

Pastor James says the horse’s name is Charlotte.  I think Delilah would have been more appropriate because she was used for evil, too.

Thanks to Annabelle for the heads up.

Is There Some Kind of Cop Contest Going On That We Don’t Know About?

December 15, 2014

Victoria, Texas, is right down the road from me.  I have a lot of friends in Victoria, Texas.

Even some old ones.

Pete Vasquez is 76 years old and was pulled over by 23 year old Officer Nathaniel Robinson for having an expired inspection sticker on his car.

Vasquez explained to Officer Robinson that this was a work-owned vehicle that belonged to a car lot.  In Texas, dealer tags make you exempt from inspection stickers.  It’s the law.

Vasquez violated no laws, and for that he got slammed on the hood of a car, thrown on the cement ground, tasered twice, and cuffed.  He was placed in the back of a patrol car and kept in police custody for two hours.

“He just acted like a pit bull, and that was it,” Vasquez recalled. “For a while, I thought he was going to pull his gun and shoot me.”

Even witnesses to the event were threatened.

Larry Urich, who works as a sales manager at the car lot, told the Advocate that the officer should be both fired from the force and prosecuted for assault.

“I told the officer, ‘What in the hell are you doing?’ This gentleman is 76 years old,” Urich said. “The cop told me to stand back, but I didn’t shut up. I told him he was a goddamned Nazi Stormtrooper.”

Vasquez is lucky to be alive. Officer Nathaniel Robinson has been placed on “administrative leave.”

Somebody needs their butt kicked.

Thanks to Laura and Frank for the heads up.

Punking both Texas Senators at One Time

December 14, 2014

Surer than moonlight, Ted Cruz made a joke of himself in the senate yesterday.  For all the bluster he could muster to face down President Obama over immigration, he ended up helping the president get some nominees approved.

By carving out more legislative time, Mr. Cruz inadvertently enabled the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, to advance two dozen nominations, including several contentious ones that would otherwise have faced a more difficult confirmation process.

Susan Collins of Maine ashamed Cruz over that maneuver, saying of Cruz, “I don’t understand the approach that he is taking.”  Uh, Honey, it’s the Impotence on Display approach, made famous by his paisley housecoat at Princeton.

But the line of the day goes to Cory Booker.

As Senator John Cornyn of Texas, the No. 2 Senate Republican, struggled to explain to a group of reporters just what Mr. Cruz had hoped to achieve, Senator Cory Booker, Democrat of New Jersey, loped by and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Let me know if you need backup,” Mr. Booker said with a grin.

Yeah, his fellow Republicans are growing weary of him.  I passed that milepost about four years ago.

Thanks to David A. for the heads up.

Miss Lindsey Graham Can Kiss My Big Blue Butt

December 13, 2014

After Elizabeth Warren delivered one of the finest speeches on the senate floor since … well, maybe forever … Lindsey Graham took the floor and oh dear God in heaven above he actually said words that burned a hole in my head.

“You’re tired, you’re frustrated, you’re upset about a provision in the bill you don’t like,” he added of Warren.

Yeah, his response was, “You’re a girl.”

I was very glad that I do not have smell-o-vision teevee because that stank like a pouch of week old crawfish tied to a billy goat.  And Lindsey better be glad I don’t have real-o-vision teevee because I would have slapped his face.

You’re tired and upset? Oh yeah, that’s the only reason we women fight for anything – we’re tired and upset.  The only thing he forgot is that it must be that time of the month.

Oh, but he wasn’t finished.

“If you follow the lead of the senator of Massachusetts and bring this bill down … people are not going to believe you are mature enough to run the place,” Graham said on the Senate floor. “Don’t follow her lead. She’s the problem.”

Oh yeah, we believe people who give our government to big banks are mature enough to run the joint.

Somebody get that boy a fainting couch because I do believe he’s worked himself into a tither.  “She’s the problem,” is certainly one of his more mature statements.  He had no justification for giving away the government except that Elizabeth Warren is tired.

Yeah, Bub, and so am I.

 

Lindsey:SouthernBelle1

 

Thanks to John for the very cool graphic.

Momma, Do Not Click This Link.

December 12, 2014

Okay, so you know that Texas Republican Congressman Blake Farenthold is not one of my favorite people.

He likes to pose with hotsies while wearing his duckie jammies.

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Well, now he might be looking at a career in internet websites.  Momma, don’t click this link, okay?  Everybody else look what Blake is doing.

The website Blow-me.org is registered to Republican Texas Rep. Blake Farenthold, according to an Internet registration page.

Oh dear, that sounds just like him.

Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.