Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

You Cannot Keep Hypocrisy Fenced In

September 18, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Cliven Bundy.  Remember that guy?  Hates the government?   But owes the government over a million dollars in unpaid grazing fees and related fines?

Yeah, that guy.

So some woman and her boyfriend were driving on a road near the Bundy ranch and couldn’t stop fast enough to avoid several of Bundy’s cows in the road.  Kabam!  Two injured people and one dead cow.

She’s suing Bundy for $20,000 in medical expenses because he didn’t keep his cows fenced in.

Bundy’s answer?

RTR3L0J8-1280x960Bundy admitted the cow was his, but he said the state is responsible for maintaining the fence that keeps his livestock off the interstate.

“It’s a state problem, it’s not our problem,” Bundy said. “We really feel bad when it happens. We sure don’t want it to happen, but we’re not liable.”

Okay, so let me see if I have this right.  You want to keep your cows on government property free of charge because you hate the government.  But the government is responsible to keep your fence in good repair while you don’t pay your fees to them?

The crowning tea party thinking?

Bundy said he was within his rights to make a claim against Beck for the loss of his livestock.

“The person whose car hit that cow is liable to me,” Bundy said.

Sometimes it’s just so damn crazy that you don’t know whether to take a nap or dance nakkid on the back porch.

Thanks to Deb B for the heads up.

Mitch McConnell: Hope and Change

September 18, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Mitch McDonnell, after spending thirty years in the Senate, is running as the change agent.

If you want change, vote for the 30 year veteran?  Has everybody gone crazy?

mitchmcconnell“If you want change, if you’re unhappy with the direction of this country, the candidate of change is the guy you’re looking at,” McConnell told an audience at a Chamber of Commerce lunch here.

72-year-old McConnell — the top Senate Republican — is running against a 35-year-old Democrat who has never had an elected job in D.C.

Oh wait.  It was at the Chamber of Commerce, where everybody is already crazy.

 

The Voter Fraud Sky Is Falling!

September 18, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Voter fraud!  It’s everywhere!  Just ask any Republican.

I think I’ve told you the story of the only voter fraud I’ve ever witnessed was a while back when a Republican candidate was voting African Americans in the Republican primary with mail ballots right here in my county.

Then there was Bruce Fleming – a local Republican county commissioner who 2 years ago voted in two states in the same election.

Well, hello, Florida.  After a two year investigation …

Four people, including William T. Hazard of Boynton Beach, wound up getting charged over allegations of submitting false voter registration forms. State investigators looked at questionable forms submitted in seven counties, including instances where voters had their party affiliation switched from Democrat to Republican.

Yep, it was a Republican.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

Holy Crap: Jesus is Back

September 18, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

I guess my favorite Jesus Showing Up story is in Wild Peach, Texas, where Jesus appeared on the laundry room floor.

 

But, mostly Jesus shows up on food.

I have never had the honor of meeting The Food Jesus.

Okay, okay, maybe I have and just don’t know it because I have never seen a photo of Jesus.  So there’s that.

Up in Michigan, the St. Andre Bessette Church Festival was bless with Jesus on a pierogi.  Chairman of the festival, Robert Hellar, tells the story ….

“I was in the taco booth making taco’s, and they came up to me and said ‘Jesus love polish food more than Mexican food’ and I asked why,” Heller said.

That’s when he saw the pierogi.

“I was shocked. I looked at it, and you can definitely see the face of Jesus,” Heller said.

That is shocking.  Really shocking.  They have tacos in Michigan?

 

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I don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade but I think it looks like the love child of Charles Manson and Frank Zappa.

The church is currently keeping it in the freezer.  Which, to me, seems like a mean thing to do to Jesus.

I Knew It! I Knew It! They Stink!

September 17, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

You know how I have to ask God’s forgiveness every day for hating Republicans?

Yeah, but now I have an excuse.  They stink.

In a study recently published in the American Journal of Political Science, lead investigator Rose McDermott, Ph.D., of Brown University, found that adults were more likely to be attracted to the body odors of people who had similar political beliefs and repelled by the body odors of those with opposing ideologies.

Since I smell really good, that must mean Republican do not.  And, come to think of it, most of them do smell like they’ve got a week old pound of crawfish in their back pocket and a goat under each arm.  Or at their politics do.

Thanks to Scott for the heads up.

Oh Be Still My Heart!

September 17, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Politichicks – a very conservative website run by young Republican women who are oh so fond of Glamour Shots and airbrushing, have taken on an impossible task.

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.37.19 AM

 

Seriously.

First, they set out the criteria to be “hot.”

#1. Intelligence. These guys are brilliant.

#2. Courage. They aren’t afraid to stand up to challenges, speak the truth and fight for our country

#3: Passion (See above)

#4: Sense of humor. They never let the haters get them down–they just keep doing what they do, with their sense of self and sense of humor intact.

#5: Looks. This can be either conventionally handsome or someone who simply exudes sexiness.

Please keep in mind that they did say the sexy word.

Apparently, there are so many hot, hot, hot Republican men that it had to be divided into categories.

Get a load of this one …

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.34.53 AM

 

Didn’t you just throw up in your mouth a little bit?

Oddly, the three Texas men on the list are my favorites, too.

 

CloudyWithNutballs_1

Thanks to Irene and John for the heads up.