Texas GOP Convention

June 08, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

The good news is that they didn’t shoot each other.  No, wait, maybe that’s the bad news.  I get confused.

Anyway, they just made faces and called each other “cootie brains” and “poo-poo head.”  That’s certainly a start to good government.

There was some ammo-action in the Rules Committee.  One delegate said that others disagreed with his vote “on how candidates are approved for placement on ballots and how candidates are censured by the party.”  The purpose of the rule is to keep people from running as Republicans if the lunatic wing of the GOP didn’t approve of them.  He voted against it and was called over for extra-credit debate camp by two other delegates.  When he refused to change his vote …

“I’m in the corner of the convention hall when three people confronted me and asked why I voted the way I voted,” Haddock said in an interview Friday. “I told them I was responsible to vote for the principles of the Republican Party.”

The woman in the group said Haddock should have voted with his constituents while a man with a handgun moved closer to him, Haddock said.

“I interpreted this as an effort to intimidate me and influence my vote,” Haddock said. “I told them all to back up. You are not going to threaten me. I thought it clearly was an over-the-top effort to affect my vote.”

The man with the gun countered, “it was not a weapon or a firearm. It was a black powder pistol and perfectly legal.”

Black Powder Revolver

Black Powder Revolver

Well,  I have to admit that it does look like a gun to me.  And it shoots like a gun.  And it can kill you like a gun.

An observer dismissed it as delegates being “a little too boisterous.”  Personally, I wouldn’t taunt them if I were you.

Screen Shot 2014-06-08 at 10.57.58 AMThen they decided to hate Mexicans.  Yeah, the platform had a guest worker plank in it but Dan Patrick, the whitest man in Texas, decided that had to go.

Patrick refers constantly to the “illegal invasion” of people across the border.  You know, like they are claiming Texas as their own.

Scott Braddock reported that Texas Republicans said that “any discussion of legal status for the undocumented was equated to negotiating with terrorists.”

Patrick dismissed his opponent, the formidable Leticia Van De Putte as “a nice lady, but wrong on the issues.”

Dan has the distinction of  being not a nice gentleman AND being wrong on the issues.

Yeah, a nice lady.  Really.  Somebody alert Dan Patrick that Leticia Van De Putte is coming after him with intent to barbeque.  And you might let him know that patronizing her does not work.

Screen Shot 2014-04-15 at 1.19.59 PMThe last time she was patronized she caused the Texas Capitol to be shut down until after midnight.

And that’s how she does things “nicely.”

Wait until Patrick comes after her Momma, her children, and her people.

There was some other fun stuff at their convention.

They are offering to “fix” gay people with therapy.  Hell it worked for Michele Bachmann’s husband.  He’s not the least bit gay now.

The best I understand it, this is what’s in their platform:  You can be gay, you just can’t act gay.  Or be a gay actor, probably.  Oh hell, I don’t know.  I don’t have a clue why everybody has to change to fit their image.  What are they, God?

The clear winner of the convention door-prize is Ted Cruz.  The biggest loser is Rick Perry.  I mean, at the convention. Perry was a loser at the convention, not in life.  Well, wait.  Maybe that, too.

Ted Cruz wins the Texas Republican Party presidential straw poll with 43 percent of the vote. Texas Gov. Rick Perry finished fourth, behind Cruz, Dr. Ben Carson and Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky.

How quickly they fall.

I’m sure I’m going to think of more crazy crap they did in the coming week, including Greg Abbott’s statement of “we must invest more in public schools — but not with new taxes.”  Then with what?  Dan Patrick’s leftover fence posts?

A fun time was had by all.

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28 Comments to “Texas GOP Convention”


  1. RepubAnon says:

    Given the behavior of the folks who immigrated from the US into what was then Mexico and later became Texas, they’re probably worried that the Mexicans will do unto them as they did unto the Mexicans.

    On a related note, the gun nuts say that any regulation of guns threatens to destroy their Second Amendment rights. The far-right also admits that the true purpose of incremental restrictions on women’s reproductive rights is to eliminate those rights. Projection, thy name is Republican.

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  2. So the Texas Republican Party chose a Canadian. What, Vladimir Putin wasn’t on the ballot?

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  3. Abbott’s statement reminded me of this, from Gail Collins’ op-ed yesterday:

    “Republicans care deeply about deficits, unless they’re caused by tax cuts. Then they don’t give a damn.”

    Norm Ornstein, American Enterprise Institute

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  4. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Any chance we can give them all perfectly legal black powder pistols, lock the doors, shut off the water and wait?

    Good Grief. These people are just awful.

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  5. Sandridge says:

    “it was not a weapon or a firearm. It was a black powder pistol and perfectly legal.”

    The idiot that said this was either delusional or disingenuous.
    Those old black powder weapons don’t have the muzzle velocities of modern smokeless rounds, but their bullet calibers were usually larger than today’s pistols, all lead, and they would/will blow a honking big hole in somebody.

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  6. I strongly support the Civil War if that’s what it took to free the slaves. As for preventing certain states from seceding… I have mixed feelings.

    ===========

    “It’s not a weapon or a firearm”? That’s a lie. “It’s perfectly legal.” As JJ has pointed out, so is a chainsaw, but don’t stand near me with one in a public place.

    Another local news story about a “family disagreement” in which someone ended up dead because someone else had a gun, or maybe they both did. Without guns, probably just a bloody nose. Another NRA triumph.

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  7. Time after time, the GOP platform gets to resemble a little too much (as if there is ever a little too) Nazi regime with that superiority thing over women, anyone that looks and speaks differently from old white men and on and on and on . . . . and they will just never understand why people are so offended and cannot be convinced to be like them!

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  8. Sandridge says:

    I should have explained a little more.
    Blackpowder arms in law have been given a special status that treats them as ‘not firearms’, ‘not weapons’ under most situations. They are, in the real world, both of those things, and quite potent as such, just not too good at repetitive fire.

    BTW, I own and use (occasionally) many firearms, some might consider me a gun nut too, but not in a league with the ones in the news lately. I line up pretty strongly on the 2nd Amend. side, but I’m beginning to wonder after watching all these massacres and OCT weirdos/am.mo.sex.u.al.ss.

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  9. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Thinking back to the 2012 GOP primary in which each mad hatter tacked further right than the previous mad hatter, the only place to further right now leads to full blown crazy. That would be TeDDy Cruz and his Demented Dominionism. Dubya was a dominionist, too.

    It’s only June. Still plenty of time for a wing nut to wing another nut with some gun play. June, July, August, September and November of which I pick July for the first month there will be a shooting at one of these GOP sponsored events.

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  10. e platypus onion says:

    And the douche with the gun said it was a pistol? It has a ree-volving cyllinder which holds the little shootie thingies which is why it is called a reeeee-volver,you f#$@%ing moron!!

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  11. e platypus onion says:

    OTOH,if the gun was a pistol,the little shootie thingies would be in one of those things that Snowgrift Snoozie claims to read,but can’t name any of them. And,unless it is a single shot weapon,it is called a re-peater,which obviously gives great comfort to wingnuts with little peaters.

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  12. Ralph Wiggam says:

    What? nothing about barefoot and pregnant? I thought that was always in the Republican platform.

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  13. OldMayfly says:

    Back in the dueling days black-powder guns sometimes were used and the result was that one party was carried off the field horizontally.

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  14. Miss Prissybritches says:

    Wonder if pRick Perry is back home in the Gov’s Mansion imbibing heavily while licking his wounds today, or on meds in bed with the covers over his head? 4th place? hahahahaha

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  15. Black powder pistol? That sounds like something really old, back when they manufactured things with safety features integrated into the design. And since the nice gun owner pointed out that it was not a weapon or a firearm, he probably has all kinds of historical data to show the use of a black powder pistol never resulted in any deaths or injuries. Otherwise, why mention it?

    Most likely they were invented so future pistol collectors could exhibit them in a glass case in their future homes.

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  16. Marge Wood says:

    The only thing I know about black powder guns is that when we lived on the ranch in west Texas, our neighbor up on the hillside liked to play with his black powder guns. They sounded about like a cannon. I used to call up and say “Do you want me to send the militia over”? I sure am glad I wasn’t at the GOP convention. Lots of my friends and I are sucking our thumbs at the thought of the GOP platform. And what about the incandescent light bulbs? Did they leave them in?

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  17. A Republican admitted he felt threatened when approached by someone openly carrying a gun? Now, as a Republican he should have known that thing was neither a weapon nor a firearm (whaaaat?????), but their contention has been that we should feel all warm and cozy at the sight of somebody open carrying, regardless of whether we know him or anything about his mental status. Could this be a teachable moment?

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  18. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Maybe the state school system could have a tree fall on it and win a large settlement; oops, Abbott made sure no one after him can use that scenario.

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  19. This is how people get killed. If Haddock had been carrying, who knows what the next step would be? This is like Catch-22. The crazies have to carry guns in public to preserve their right to own guns. But crazy people don’t have a right to own guns. WTF?

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  20. Sandridge says:

    Miss Prissybritches #14,

    Naah, pRick probably went out jogging, hoping he’d spot a widdle coyote to take out some frustration on.
    I’ll bet his dog pee’d on his leg too, when he got back to the manse.

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  21. Marge Wood says:

    from news article re: small segment of GOP platform. Note the very important (!) light bulb:
    The platform touches on issues such as seeking an investigation into “all aspects of the Benghazi debacle,” supporting the continued use of incandescent light bulbs and calling for Texans to amend the state constitution to make the House speaker a statewide elected position. It supports a volunteer Constitutional State Militia and asks officials to ban red-light cameras.

    Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2014/06/07/5881878/dan-patrick-calls-on-gop-to-be.html#storylink=cpy

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  22. RepubAnon says:

    So, the black powder muskets, revolvers, and rifles used in the Civil War weren’t weapons? If it’s not a weapon, does this mean that it isn’t protected by the Second Amendment?

    More seriously, I understand that black powder revolvers may not be considered “weapons” under certain statutes – but they’re certainly weapons by any realistic definition. The idea of someone carrying a loaded black powder revolver without considering it to be a weapon sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

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  23. Sandridge says:

    RepubAnon says: #22,

    Something I keep forgetting to mention when I comment on “blackpowder”:
    Blackpowder is quite sensitive to static electricity discharges, so I’ve been thinking it’s just a matter of time until one of these jakelegs packing that type of weapon blasts his danglers off.
    A low humidity day (I wish), strolling into an airconditioned store with even lower humidity, those mudmats at the entrance door– and yippee–

    Oops, there goes another OTCammosexual

    ‘He’s’ got high hopes…high hopes…

    Once there was a silly old ‘baggert

    Thought he’d strut around the Target

    No one could make that ‘bagger scram

    He kept struttin’ around ’till that piece went BLAM!

    Now he won’t be gettin’ any ‘buggert

    (lyrics need some polishing maybe, apologies to the man who really was ‘packin’, Frank Sinatra, heheh, ifyouknowwhutimean…)

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  24. Regarding what Marge Wood @4:19 pm wrote:

    I think it’s funny and sad that a state GOP has something about Benghazi in their platform. When the feds do something they don’t like, they all scream “state’s rights”, and about getting DC off our backs.

    What business does a state have commenting on foreign policy?

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  25. Gotta say that the last black powder weapon I ever saw was the Brown Bess replica my son in law used in re-enactments of the Revolutionary War. They were heaveeeee and their length added to the awkwardness. Plus they were a *itch to load and shoot. They also did not have that much range. For a long gun, they were really effective to the max when up close and personal. And black powder always made me sneeze!

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  26. This morning’s Washington Post sez that Cruz is now mainstream and the Texas GOP is totally pea tardy. How does that compute? The only Canadian in the U.S. Senate is mainstream? What river is that?

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  27. donquijoterocket says:

    I’d consider most black powder revolvers I’ve ever seen weapons for the simple fact that if you didn’t shoot someone with it and blow a big honkin hole in them they were heavy enough to be a most effective bludgeon.Matter of fact considering the accuracy and range of most of them it might have been their most effective use.

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  28. Best comment I’ve seen comes from an ex-Texan (don’t hold that against him);
    http://whatwouldjackdo.net/2014/06/the-2014-texas-republican-party-platform-the-wtf-to-end-all-wtfs.html

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