John and Jesus

February 06, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Congressvarmint Patrick J. Tiberi (R-Ohio), a close friend of John Boehner, lamented the plight that Boehner faces trying to unite the GOP.

Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 9.02.26 AMPoor John.   Now he knows how Dr. Frankenstein felt when he realized his monster needed to be chained in the basement.

Anyway, not truly understanding the irony of all this, Tiberi defends Boehner by saying —

“Right now, Jesus himself couldn’t be the speaker and get 218 Republicans behind something, so I think Speaker Boehner is trying his best to come up with a plan that can get close to that.”

No, I think the words you’re looking for are “especially Jesus.”  They’d throw that loving peace-freak selfless socialist sumbitch in the dungeon.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the heads up.

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16 Comments to “John and Jesus”


  1. Elizabeth says:

    If Jesus was the Speaker, those hard-hearted SOBs wouldn’t be in the House. They’d be plotting with the Koch brothers to have him arrested and crucified.

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  2. Amen, Elizabeth! What thou sayest! And they would sell tickets.

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  3. Hippie in the Holler says:

    Yep, Elizabeth nailed it. The doofi (love the term) are just across the river from the Holler and they sure raise them dumb and evil around here.

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  4. They only believe in “rapture” jesus who will come back to kick non christian butt. I think that is why they get so bent out of shape regarding birth control, rapture jesus is supposed to be coming and they want to be sure he gets here to do what they feel needs to be done to us savages!!!!

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  5. aggieland liz says:

    That wimpy John don’t know nuthin’ bout JAY-zuz anyway he’s a member of that thar popish cathlick cult…

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  6. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Jesus did like to hang out with sinners. And who better than House Republicans.

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  7. Boehner can blame himself for the tea party extremism. When it is directed against Dems
    he’s all for its, but when the crazy comes home to roost it’s a different story. If the Repugs followed Jesus’ advice, they’d all be Deomcrats.

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  8. If Jesus were around maybe we would see a Cleansing of the House to compare to the Cleansing of the Temple–you know, where He “expels the money changers from the Temple, accusing them of turning the Temple into a den of thieves through their commercial activities.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleansing_of_the_Temple

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  9. @Kevin:
    If they truly believe in a Jayhezus that will kick non-Christian butt, they best worry for they are not in the least Christian.

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  10. Boehner can blame himself for the tea party extremism. When it is directed against Dems
    he’s all for its, but when the crazy comes home to roost it’s a different story. If the Repugs followed Jesus’ advice, they’d all be Deomcrats.
    sorry: Democrats

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  11. Maryelle,

    Alas for the doofi, he wasn’t alone. Have you seen how Michael Steele always looks uncomfortable discussing Tea-thuggery? I suspect he’s experiencing some *major* buyers remorse…

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  12. e platypus onion says:

    Oh what a tangled web we weave when t-bag butt- buddies practice to conceive. Or something like that.

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  13. Corinne Sabo says:

    Jesus taught us that God is the God of the poor. He would never be a Republican.

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  14. Someone said that if Jesus came back today, people wouldn’t even crucify him– they’d invite him to parties, hear what he had to say, and laugh at him.

    But these Republicans– yeah, they’d crucify him. Fast, before he had much chance to point out the vast gap between what he said and what they do.

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  15. Ralph, you’ve got a point there…Jesus did hang out with sinners, including people who stooged for the Romans. But I dunno about the House Republicans, because he was hard on those who soaked the poor.

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  16. Okie-Dokey says:

    Boner needs to buy himself a bar back in Ohio. That way he can drink, smoke and keep the TV of Fake News. There is no “Tea Party.” Those clowns in funny hats are the Republican base. The same ones who buy gold from Glenn Beck.

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