And I Can Hardly Wait

July 04, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Rick Perry has announced that he will have “an announcement about his political future on Monday.”

Rick Perry has a political future?

Damn.  I figured that guy had about the same political future as Newt Gingrich.  Hang it up, cowboy, and take your lasso home.

And then I got to thinking.  Maybe Rick has other announcements in mind.

Like maybe ….

10.  I’m running for Governor of Egypt.

9.   We are moving Lubbock to Austin and vice versa. Everybody’s happy.  Okay, I’m happy and that’s enough.

8.   You know those rumors about me being gay?  Not true.  I just like show tunes.  Nakkid.  With other men.

7.   I have enrolled in Miss Mavis’ Memory School.  We’re up to three.

6.  Yeah, David Dewhurst gets on my nerves, too.

5.  I am officially changing my title from Governor to Cowboy Coyote King.

4.  You know that whole barefoot and pregnant thing?  Well, we’ve decided to change that.  You can wear shoes.

3.  Guns!  Guns!  Guns!  No announcement.  I just like saying it.

2.  Do the people of Egypt admire a good head of hair?  Because I can do that.  I’ve already got an Indiana Jones outfit.  And I can walk like an Egyptian.

1.  Secede /  Succeed — I keep getting those two mixed up.  That’s why I’ve done neither.

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21 Comments to “And I Can Hardly Wait”


  1. I really do hope he’ll announce another presidential run. I need a good laugh right about now. Rick Perry=comic relief.

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  2. Bernard Terway says:

    I got a robocall from Newt last night asking for money because that mean ole IRS was mean and nasty to teabaggers, I thought that was laid to rest and someone should be collecting to ride Issa out of the country on a broomstick with tar and feathers on him

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  3. RepubAnon says:

    Maybe he could get a job running against someone who wants to look really, really smart – and figures standing next to Governor Goodhair would easily accomplish this. Alternatively, maybe he’s running as the Donald Trump of Texas.

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  4. I’m sure it will be another run at Governor For Life. Of course he will irritate AG Abbott, but sociopaths understand it’s allowable to stomp on each others aspirations as need be.

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  5. Love your blog JJ. I’m sure you will still have lots of stuff to talk about even if King Rick does not run – and win – the governorship again :) There seems to be no end to the stories from the red states. Hope most go blue next time.

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  6. Scottybeamer says:

    No. 8…………..Perry was actually going to come out of the closet, but he couldn’t remember if it was door 1, 2, or 3.
    He seriously needs to work on that.

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  7. You rocked the list, JJ.

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  8. Is he sitting there laughing, imagining that breathless anticipation of his announcement is changing the weather patterns all across Texas? Is he that much of a megalomaniac? Well, yes. We know that already. What amazes and disturbs me is that his announcement of his upcoming announcement got more mainstream media attention than Wendy Davis’s filibuster last week. So while I don’t give two hoots for Ricky’s announcement, I am curious about how much news coverage he gets when he finally does the big reveal. The problem is not just that Ricky knows how to manipulate media (and God knows he did plenty of that this past week) it’s that the media is willing to be manipulated. I think we all have a problem with that.

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  9. I was thinking he’s moving to Iran. He’d really enjoy their theocracy I believe.

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  10. Marge Wood says:

    I’m beating my drum for Perry to be a truck driver. You think he could get a job doing that?

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  11. Umptydump says:

    @Marge – He’ll be okay at that until the first time he stops at a truck stop men’s room and slides his boot over to the next stall.

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  12. Perry for President of Texas!

    (He won’t know the difference.)

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  13. He’s going to announce a fabulous, fantastic, one of a kind discovery that could only happen in Texas and he’s the one who discovered it. Damn thing slides up and down like a dream without a hitch and he just loves it!

    Its a zipper.

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  14. maryelle says:

    A new poll reports that 74% of Texans do NOT want Perry to run for President. Spoil sports!

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  15. Lorraine in Spring says:

    He’ll run for Governor again, just to prevent Wendy Davis from getting anymore attention. He knows he can’t win the WH so he’ll keep his current gravy train in Texas.

    Anyone else see this today in the Chron?

    http://blog.chron.com/txpotomac/2013/07/houston-leads-big-dollar-texas-political-contributions-dominates-democratic-megadonors/

    Perry can’t help himself. He still wants access to all that cash.

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  16. You know, just on a lark, I looked up Egypt, Texas and lo and behold, look at what I found:

    http://www.egypttexas.org/

    I guess he can run for Governor of Egypt. Only… we really hope he doesn’t.

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  17. Well according to Huffpost he shouldn’t even bother

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/03/rick-perry-2016_n_3543603.html?utm_hp_ref=politics

    So we don’t want him maybe Alaska will take him

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  18. just had to say thanks for my daily dose of humor :)

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  19. The channel 13 news crawl was supposed to say he’d have an “exciting announcement,” but wound up saying he’d have an “exiting announcement.” If only………

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  20. Exciting news for whom? Even a Rush-listening, Republican old friend of mine uses non-approved-by Mama words when she hears Rick Perry’s name. Unless he’s moving to Somalia or somewhere in Russia, I can’t imagine many will find his news exciting.

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  21. Rick Perry.
    Wendy Davis.
    One of these has a chance of becoming President one day….

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