Archive for July, 2013

Hey, I Want One Of Them There Get Out Of Jail Free Cards

July 31, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

It appears that speeding is legal in Forney, Texas, if you’re George Zimmerman.  Forney, Texas, is right outside of Dallas.

Zimmerman was speeding in Forney, Texas on Sunday, just after noon, when he was stopped by police.  Zimmerman told cops he was headed “nowhere in particular,” and informed them he had a firearm in his glove compartment.

Zimmerman was given a warning, after cops determined he was free of warrants.  He was sent on his way with a polite goodbye, “Have a safe trip.”

The stop lasted around 5 minutes.

BTW … law enforcement tells TMZ … he was NOT wearing a disguise … it was full blown George Zimmerman.

Dashboard camera video is here.

No Particular Place To Go was made famous by Chuck Berry.  And George Zimmerman.  Doesn’t he know it’s too hot to wear hoodies in Texas this time of year?

Thanks to Peter and Steve for the heads up.

Cruzing to Crazy Isle

July 31, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Oh dear Lord how awful can this get?

Ted Cruz’s logic twisting machine has got it floored in neutral and pumping propane.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Tuesday argued that President Barack Obama and Democrats, not Republicans, were the ones trying to shut down the federal government because he insisted on funding a health care reform law that was passed in 2010.

No, he’s serious.  It’s President Obama who is causing them to shut down the government because he’s insisting that the votes were counted and Obamacare won.  Who died and made him President?

“We have voted to fund the federal government. We want to fund the federal government. Why is President Obama threatening to shut down the federal government? Because he wants force Obamacare down people’s throats.’”

One reporter pointed out to Cruz that polls showed that most people thought that defunding a law and shutting down the government was not the proper way to govern.

The Texas senator, however, argued that some polls had been crafted as tools of advocacy.

Actually, he wanted to say that polls are tools of the devil as are the electorate.

Y’all, this is where we’ve come to.  It’s Ted in Wonderland.  You could have one eye tied behind your back and still see that this man is nuts.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up and John for the graphic.

Greg Abbott Once Again Brags That He Made the Sun Come Up

July 31, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott can puff himself up better than any man I know.

The latest is outlined by Houston Chronicle reporter Lisa Falkenberg on the danged top front page of the Texas section of the Chronicle this morning.  The Chronicle ain’t a bastion of liberalism so it was nice to see the Attorney General Wanna Be Governor take to task over clams that his office obtained Medicaid  fraud settlements.

Although the government agencies were required to sign off on the settlement, there’s no evidence of Abbott’s claim that he alone “obtained” the settlement.

and …

As for Abbott’s own investigation, it doesn’t appear to have generated much of a paper trail.

When I asked for memorandums, emails or any kind of documents that would show the Planned Parenthood affiliate intended to defraud the Medicaid program, Abbott’s spokesman Jerry Strickland told me the whistle-blower’s attorney “would have that information” and “we do not have those documents with us right now.”

Yeah, right, they were too busy writing press releases to actually do any investigating.

Now you people from foreign states need to listen to me.  Greg Abbott makes Rick Perry look like Mary Poppins.  He is an entitled, bitter, and dangerous man.  I ain’t saying he’s Hitler but Hitler is saving him a seat in hell.

Thanks to a whole mess of people for the heads up.

And Dear Lord, Help Lower My Gas Bills

July 30, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Just because prayin’ to Jesus  ain’t enough, people in Aladamnbama ask Jesus to please hate who they hate.

At a regulatory meeting on Alabama power rates, Public Service Commission President Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh (yes, her name is Twinkle and aren’t you jealous) let a minister do the opening prayer because he’s a friend of hers.

It goes downhill like a six legged jackrabbit.

Because Cavanaugh, at a state meeting of a quasi-judicial regulatory body, is handing Prattville Baptist preacher John Jordan a commendation, even though he is on the agenda to speak as an interested party on behalf of the Tea Party. She’s explaining that he gets to give the invocation because he is her friend.

And then Jordan polls the audience on who believes in prayer. At a state regulatory meeting. And then he prays that the world’s gone crazy, that good is bad and bad is good, that “we’ve said it’s Ok to have same-sex marriage. We have sinned.”

Because nothing screws up utility rates like the gays.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Yeah, But From The Look in Her Eyes, She Might Be Right

July 30, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Our friends over at the Super DeLux Brand Christian Headquarters have a new mission in Oklahoma.

Your picture on your driver’s license is evil.

Well hell, everybody knew that.  Honey, if you look like the picture on your driver’s license, you should check yourself into the hospital.

But, a woman in Oklahoma named Kaye Beach has been doing research and discover that DMV is putting the mark of the beast on your driver’s license.

“The bottom line for me as a Christian was that I believe that the Bible clearly warns us against being enrolled in a global system of identification and financial control that ties to our bodies,” Beach said.

Beach said she believes that eventually our government’s database of everyone’s personal information will be hacked, identity theft will be rampant and that our ID cards will one day be replaced with implanted chips or tattoos containing our personal information.

Her lawyer agrees with her.  Of note: her lawyer gets paid to agree with her.

I’ll give five dollars cash American money to the first person who tells her that the Republican Registration card is the real mark of the beast.

A Whole Bunch of Crap

July 30, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

You know your whole state has gone to crap when you see this headline while reading your local newspaper with your morning coffee.

If you recall, in order to justify requiring women  to have their tampon and sanitary napkins confiscated prior to entering the Texas House gallery, DPS tried to make it look like we are ruffians by saying,  “DPS officers have thus far discovered one jar suspected to contain urine, 18 jars suspected to contain feces, and three bottles suspected to contain paint.”

New media, ever anxious to find crap when they can, asked for proof of this as the material should have been tagged and reported because it was confiscated and – now, I’m just speculating here – could be considered a biohazard.

Six new agencies in Texas made requests for the information because, frankly, they think it’s a load of crap.

Sure ’nuff, they get back an email stating that DPS is requesting an Attorney General’s opinion prior to releasing the information.  The Attorney General is Greg Abbott, the guy who is running for Governor now that Rick Perry is a lame duck. They are asking him to determine if this is public information.  Can you guess what that opinion might be.

Now I’m not saying that obviously DPS theirownselves made it public when they released the statement … oh hell, who am I kidding – that’s exactly what I’m saying.

There’s more crap about the crap than there was crap in the first place.