Oh No, You Cannot Miss This. You Just Can’t.

April 22, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Mark Sanford took out a full page ad in the Charleston newspaper to explain trespassing on his wife’s property.

Apparently, it’s Nancy Pelosi’s fault.

I love how he explains that he had the lowest Governor’s traveling expenses in 30 years and his were half what his predecessor’s was.  Yeah, but his predecessor didn’t use his state travel expenses to go to South America to play sparkin’ with his girlfriend.  That is probably Hillary Clinton’s fault.

He commits damn sacrilege in the last paragraph, quoting William B Travis from the Alamo and claiming him as South Carolinian.  I know William B Travis.  William B Travis is a hero of mine.  Sir, you are no William B Travis.  Col. William B Travis would rather die in Texas than live in South Carolina.

Then he compares Democrats to Santa Anna.  No, Honey, Santa Anna got caught while boinkin’ his girlfriend.  You are Santa Anna.

A full page ad.  Really?  If you can’t explain your behavior in one sentence and not blame Nancy Pelosi, then don’t do it.  That’s a good rule for life.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

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26 Comments to “Oh No, You Cannot Miss This. You Just Can’t.”

  1. Uncle Dave says:

    Your exactly right about Sanford being Santa Anna and not Travis. Stephen Colbert could have a lot fun comparing the Appalachian Hiker with the Napoleon of the West, both caught with their pants down.

  2. When you start comparing your chances for victory to The Alamo, (and fighting Mexicans for good measure) maybe a full page newspaper ad isn’t your best … shot … at redemption.
    Stephen Colbert at his best can hardly top the laughs coming straight out of Sanford’s own campaign.

  3. Ah, yes, another nice reminder to send money to Elizabeth. Thanks, Mark, you’re good for something anyway.

  4. I’m with you all the way on Mendacious Mark. Nevertheless, Wikipedia has him born in South Carolina…

  5. maryelle says:

    Colossal chutzpah! What a self-serving diatribe. Colbert should counter with a full page “Wag of the Finger”.

  6. To quote Snoopy: “Good grief!” I would like to thank Mr. Sanford for providing comic relief at such trying times as having a couple would-be Al Queda bombers on the loose and a fertilizer czar who stores tons of explosive material within yards of a fire hazard and 500 yards of a middle school & nursing home, recognizing he would fit right in with them along the lines of Dumb & Dumber. Take your pick.

  7. Umptydump says:

    Sanford is desperate now. Local voters have him on a rotisserie spit and are cooking him to a turn. Stick a fork in him because he’s just about done.


  8. And he did it on San Jacinto Day? Indeed a cowardly cur like Santa Anna and most of his troops.

    As for William B. Travis, he only lived in South Carolina until he was 8, when his father moved the family to Alabama in 1817. He lived there until he left for Texas, arriving early in 1831 (technically making him an illegal immigrant under the Law of April 6, 1830, which barred new immigration to Texas from the U.S. without papers issued from the Republic of Mexico).

    Read the article. It’s a shotgun approach rather than a pointed narrative. Pretty useless.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    No Texan would ever make the mistake of dating the Alamo in 1863. Sorry, Mark, a total fail on all counts.

  10. Larry McLaughlin says:

    I have a brother who lives in South Carolina, but asked me not to send him stuff like this. Should I point out he’s the only one of six children of my parents who did not complete college? And votes Republican, and hates our President?

  11. This is one NEW #GOP “Budget Plan”! Now, let me see if I have it correct? Gov. Mark Sanford lied to ALL #SC & used(wasted) S.Carolina State Treasury Funds to finance a “tryst” with a S American Lover & NOW Mark Sanford expects #SC to VOTE him back into the Governor’s mansion so he can USE #SC Treasury to FUND a comfortable life for his former “Tryst” by #SC making her their #SC 1st Lady…Now, is that ingenious & ingenuous OR WHAT?! QUESTION: Are #GOP #SC voters this STUPID, REALLY? Is that a “Slap in the Face” to #SC OR is that “just desserts” for #GOP stupid voters? lol

  12. I guess I’m confused. So do I understand from this self-serving nonsense that his immorality, dishonesty, and criminal conduct are the fault of Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in general? Was President Obama responsible for any of this? Does Sanford know one damned thing about the Alamo? What a waste of paper!

    Also, thanks, Rick!

  13. Edith Ann says:

    Why is he pissed at the Democrats? Didn’t the scions of the upright morally GOP kick him tot he curb for this trespassing thing?

    Frankly, except for that time he lied about his whereabouts (and who the companion was), Sanford is probably the least skankiest of the republican party.

  14. Stephen Colbert is down on his knees in thanksgiving for all this stuff. Karma is working overtime! LOL!

  15. What a whiny piece of fiction. Mark should have hired a ghost writer.

  16. BarbinDC says:

    Is it possible that Sanford is our own real-life Dr. Sheldon Cooper (except for the sex thing, of course)?

  17. It must be sad to go through life as a rich, powerful, white man who is constantly being victimized by . . .

    Well, by everybody apparently.

  18. So he’s complaining that the Democratic leadership is giving campaign money to the Democrat who is running against him because, horror of horrors, if Colbert Busch wins she will act like a Democrat?

    He’s insane. He’s just got to be insane.

  19. daChipster says:

    Give me money because…NANCY PELOSI. And freedom.

    I swear she’s mentioned more in their fundraisers than she is in her own. In fact, all she has to do is mimeograph their flyers and send them out to her donors. All the stuff the right complains about her for is the stuff we love her for.

  20. Unsaid: “It’s not fair that my opponent is financially supported by her national party when MY national party has pulled the plug on my gravy train! So.. uh… anyone out there got a million or two to throw my way? Please?”

    Also: March of EIGHTEEN SIXTY-THREE??? I had no clue that the Battle of the Alamo happened during the middle of the US Civil War. Thanks for enlightening us! Hey, Professor Sanford, do you think Col. Travis should have called General Lee for reinforcements, or should he have called General Grant?

  21. Umptydump says:

    From her photos, Sanford’s Argentinean squeeze is attractive enough, but she’ll be 42 in a year. He might think it’s time to trade her in for two 21s.

  22. Just Suze says:

    What really bothers me is this clown makes it sounds like Jenny had abandoned the boy. He says “out of town.” Yet, she caught him sneaking out the back door. She was out for the evening. (I looked up the law. In SC, you can start leaving a child home alone at age 8.)

    Umptydump, that’s possible. His “fiancee” was once the other woman. Does she realize in a couple of years there may be another other woman?

  23. MCPO Ret says:

    In 1863, Santa Anna killed Col. Travis and freed his slaves and sent them to South Carolina to live happily ever after.
    Prof. Mark Sanford

  24. Love the inverted history lesson. BTW, many southern states have revised their history books. They no longer mention the Civil War. In the South, it is now called the WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRESSION. We will have a generation of American children who will never have heard of the Civil War!

  25. Umptydump says:

    @Just Suze – Come the time that Sanford loses the election and dumps Miss Argentina, he’ll hire on as a graduate lecturer in dissolution at Newt Gingrich University. Dissolution is a great field of study since the word has multiple meanings. It can refer to the end of a legal entity or agreement, such as a marriage. Dissolution can also signify moral degeneracy. Markie-boy seems to have become an expert on both definitions.

  26. What a whiny fellow he is.

    I figure the only people who support Sanford are other adulterers and men whose former wives have taken out restraint orders against them.