Several years ago, I told you about West Texas Congressleech Randy Neugebauer buying a big ole honker yacht .
Randy claimed that he needed the yacht to help himself campaign, which might be plausible if there was even a ditch with water in it anywhere near his home in Abilene, Texas. If you had a yacht in Lubbock or Abilene it would stay in perpetual dry-dock. West Texas is dry, my friend. They only got 1/4 inch of rain during Noah’s flood. The catfish have fleas.
So Randy doesn’t keep his fancy pants yacht in his district where he’s convincing folks he’s just a man of the people. He keeps it in Washington, DeeCee, where there’s more hookers.
Now, I’m gonna stop here and tell you something. God gave Randy a pointy head. I’m serious. His head comes to a little pointy thing, reminding me of a Dairy Queen ice cream cone. That doesn’t have much to do with this story, but I thought you should know why he stays off camera as much as possible. Well, that, and he drools. Okay, he really doesn’t drool. I just made that up. But, it’s flat amazing that he doesn’t.
Anyway, Randy is getting himself so damn much money being a congressdandy that he needs to defer some of his taxes. So, he bought municipal bonds. In Hawaii. Here’s a PDF showing his $250,000 Maui Wowie municipal bonds.
Now, I do not know how often Randy has to go visit his bonds, but I’m betting that his campaign pays for it.
I think Randy could make some big bucks if he could market his solution to how a man dumber than a sack of hammers doesn’t drool. Heck, he could have a jet in Paris France with that much money.
Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for some good Neugebauer snickerin’.