Next They’re Going to Ask Him to Self-Deport

February 21, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Oh, poor Ted Cruz, the bullies are picking on him.

Tough-talking freshman Sen. Ted Cruz is attacking critics with a bold tactic: whining. The man who told the world, without evidence, that defense secretary nominee Chuck Hagel might have taken money from Hamas or North Korea now complains his critics are trying to “silence” him – but it won’t work.

“Washington has a long tradition of trying to hurl insults to silence those who they don’t like what they’re saying,” said Cruz.

Dude, take a nap and then think this through.  Isn’t that exactly what you tried to do to Chuck Hagel?

You know, I have heard that Ted Cruz likes to walk through his house nakkid, wearing only a coonskin hat and a Viva Fidel! bumper sticker on his butt.  Until he can prove otherwise, I have no choice but to believe it.  I’m just asking questions.

By the way, Cruz whined at a peculiar place.

Cruz made his comments at a visit to a Texas gun maker that manufactures assault weapons for the civilian market. “He’s our type of guy,” kvelled the firm’s marketing manager.

Expect a large campaign contribution to Cruz from this arms merchant.  Cruz pals around with arms merchants.

Y’all, you gotta admit that Mr. Bully plays the victim quite well.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

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25 Comments to “Next They’re Going to Ask Him to Self-Deport”


  1. “Kvelled … marketing manager?” Who wrote that? Somehow “Texas gun maker of assault weapons for civilian market” and the Yiddish word “kvell” – to beam with pride and pleasure (think of your Bubby aka grandma) – is one strange match.

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  2. Let everyone know about this! I read it on an internet site. It must be true!

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  3. Marge Wood says:

    Self-deportation sounds good to me, especially since his hair reminds me of a used car salesman’s hair. I’d whine too if my hair looked like that.

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  4. Ida Tunbridge says:

    I just had to say I appreciated your story on Cruz… Thank you

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  5. This season’s Ted Cruz is last season’s Alan West and Joe Walsh. It will all be over soon.

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  6. I ask if Ted can prove that he doesn’t commit unnatural acts with__________ ? He hasn’t offered in proof. He hasn’t even denied it.
    Does anyone know if he has renounced his birth right of Canadian citizenship ? Is he holding on to his foreign citizenship in order to provide a bolt hole if he is ever prosecuted.

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  7. publius bolonius says:

    I almost feel sorry for you folks, except I’ve got Rubio and Scott. Sheesh! The Almost Refugee and the Almost Human. I’ve heard that ole Ted is a pretty sharp fella. I have also heard that he is a nickname for Richard. And I know somebody who actually saw Ted nekkid in his house complete with coonskin cap and bumper sticker, just like you said. No foolin’. So the real question is: what does Ted want to be when he grows up? I think he’s trying out for Senator Straight Talk – waiting on McCain’s departure from the scene. OT: I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice.

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  8. It just keeps getting nuttier and nuttier – the squirrels are hiding from the CrazeeCruz~

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  9. We folks here in TN have Stacy Campfield, Marsha Blackburn, Bob Corker, Scott Dejarlais,…..and all the Muslim Haters over in Murphreesboro.
    PLEASE tell me we are NOT turning into TX! (My apologies, Juanita…..)

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  10. daChipster says:

    It’s a 6-year internship. We all know the GOP Congressional Caucus is to Faux News what the Actors’ Studio is to Hollywood.

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  11. When I was ten years old, we got our first TV and the only thing on was the Mcarthy hearings.
    While I was watching, the fire cracker plant blew up and we thought the commies had blown up Carswell AFB.
    I don’t like Ted because I’m afraid he’ll cause something to blow up too!

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  12. Smart as he claims to be, Cruz’s hubris and avarice outweigh his intellect.

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  13. Umpty–so far, all I’ve seen is hubris and avarice, so I got nothin’ to weigh against…

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  14. Senator Crud is loving all this publicity. He’s got a spiral notebook tucked away somewhere that he used to do his big takeover plan years ago when he took a class on goal setting. You know… write it down, visualize it, yada yada. He’s so happy right now he could burst.

    I hope he bursts.

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  15. Good Lord, I miss Kay Bailey Hutchison. I never ever thought I’d say that.

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  16. @MCPO – thank you for the out-loud laugh. Today was either a day to laugh or cry. (I’ve been listening to the debate on the immigration issue) Thanks for the laugh. @SueN. I’m with you all the way. K.B. at least had the good sense to keep her mouth shut as she voted against her constituent’s issues.

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  17. Corinne Sabo says:

    Maybe he and Rubio can self-deport together?

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  18. I call him Cruz Missile.. a misguided one!!

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  19. Here in Badgerland our claim to infamy is Mcarthy, Cheny, Priebus, Ryan, Walker Johnson. You are not alone.

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  20. Both your Texas boys got an award in WashPost comments tonight:

    From James Chirico: I am awarding the Tea Party clown of the month award to Sen. Cruz that called 2 tour purple heart vet, former Secy of the Navy, on select senate intelligence committee while a MO senator, a traitor. Honorable mention goes to fellow TX senator Cornyn saying Hagel is not “qualifed” with the rest of the wingnut letter signers.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2013/02/21/14-gop-senators-call-for-withdrawal-of-hagel-nomination/

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  21. TexasEllen says:

    We are calling him Carnival Cruz….adrift, reeking, incapable of providing minimal competence. As long as John Cornyn keeps imitating Cruz’s votes, he’s under Cruz Control.

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  22. TexasEllen, I just saw that Sen. Ted “Carnival Cruz” on another website as well–what an apt nickname.

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  23. The 15 don’t understand the majority of Senators who already approve of Hagel, nor the top ranks of our military & other military experts who believe he is imminently qualified for the position. IMHO, they are protecting military “earmarks” promised within their states. Serious news reporters should be digging into the amounts promised & to whom. The rest of the nation has a right to know what these 15 clowns are truly afraid of.

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  24. Btw, JJ, did you miss this little tidbit by Steve Clemmons in the Feb. 6th issue of The Atlantic?

    “Ted Cruz’s wife works for Goldman Sachs. Let’s turn this around a bit. Should Cruz’s wife, Heidi, eventually be nominated for something big time — or Senator Cruz himself have ambitions beyond his senate perch — will he be able to compel her to make Goldman Sachs, which has considerable equities involving the US national interest, disclose its business and relationships domestic and foreign? I certainly hope not. Wrong way to get at Goldman Sachs — and an inappropriate expectation from the eventually-nominated-to-something Ted or Heidi Cruz.”

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  25. Canada would probably be willing to start a war with us before they accepted him back into their country.

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