How About “The Happily Stupid Party”?

January 25, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Bobby Jindal  and Newt Gingrich, they got some ‘splainin’ to do–

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal called on the Republican Party to “stop being the stupid party” and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich urged it  to be “a happy party” on Thursday as GOP leaders promised fundamental changes to help stave off future losses.

Bwahahahahahah.  Oh wait … they are serious ….  okay, then ….BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

So Bobby Jindal, from the intellectual stronghold of Louisiana, wants the GOP to be smart.  And Newt Gingrich, the man who has inflicted more pain on women than the average mammogram, wants it to be the happy party.

This is not going to be as easy as you’d suspect.  See, it’s dandy hard to be smart or happy when the only word you know is NO.  Maybe their congressional delegation could start voting by saying, “After some pondering, the member happily votes NO.”

You gotta wonder what happy, smart spin they can put on school shootings or that women don’t need equal pay for equal work or  that climate change does not exist and Al Roker is just making this crap up.

Honey, you could lock the GOP in a room with Stephen Hawking and Oprah for a damn month and they would still emerge with a sign that says, “Get off my lawn, you jirk.”

And that’s the damn truth.

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33 Comments to “How About “The Happily Stupid Party”?”


  1. They could be the “stupidly happy” Party.

    Oh wait.

    1
  2. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Newt would make a lot of people happy if he would just disappear.

    And Bobby would raise the average IQ of Louisiana if he moved to another state. (Please, NOT Texas)

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  3. SC_Gnomie says:

    Looks like the GOP are halfway to their new and improved party makeover slogan. They have the S and H nailed down. Just have to come up with the I and T.

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  4. Has anybody ever seen Bobby and Newt and Ren and Stimpy together at the same time?

    Happy, happy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! …

    4
  5. Stupidly Happy Impeding Teapartiers.

    Though I originally thought “Insecure” for the I, but that wasn’t obstructionist enough.

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  6. @Star, would “Insane” do? Stupid, Hateful, Insane,” but we still need a T.

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  7. Not being stupid would require ousting about 90% of the registered members of Bobby the Anchor Baby’s party.

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  8. Grace Newton says:

    Troglodytes?

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  9. Miemaw,
    Perfect. roflmfao

    Star,
    IMPLODING works well.

    9
  10. Sam in Kyle says:

    Notice that they said their policies were just fine, they just didn’t present them well. Kind of like the Klan with that whole cross burning thing. Instead, they are going to mount an effort to gerrymander electoral votes. They’re dying slowly and don’t even know it.

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  11. You can’t cure stupid, so I vote for eradication..

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  12. scottybeamer says:

    what aj said

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  13. I think Star’s on the right track, but I’ve got a slightly different bent:

    Selfishly Hypocritical Incompetent Tripe

    Though I also considered Toad and Teapartiers for the final word.

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  14. Karla Furr says:

    Boy exorcist and renowned volcano expert Bobby Jindal tells his creepy cadre to be “not-stupid.” I say he should go first.

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  15. Lorraine in Spring says:

    I’m with AJ: You can’t cure stupid, so I vote for eradication…

    June: Thieves. The last word has to be thieves.

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  16. Eradication? Maybe we could use really, really late-term abortions.

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  17. Naaawwww, they will always just be stupid.

    And only hundreds of years of evolution or all of their children becoming democrats next year will make any difference.

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  18. Is the Virginia GOP developing some sanity? It appears that Electoral College reallocation bill is on hold, for the moment, anyway. One GOP State Senator is opposed and the Gov. may veto it (he appears to have national aspirations and this bill won’t help him).

    I blame Tom DeLay for this and the corrupt judges which upheld the mid-decade redistricting in Texas.

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  19. @Sam in Kyle:
    The R’s seem to be pushing this idea a lot lately. “We have good ideas, just bad marketing.” They don’t seem to realize that corporate fascism and feudal theocracy are just not that appealing.

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  20. The new, improved GOP! Now with 4G – God, Gays, Guns and Gerrymandering

    20
  21. John in Lafayette says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P1o3YRYBmY

    Great song; quite fitting.

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  22. I’m with Karla Furr — isn’t this the same Bobby Jindal who is all for teaching creationism as science? Yeah, I thought so.

    22
  23. Remember what Rick Santorum said last year:

    “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

    I think it was the only time I ever agreed with him and thought he was speaking the truth.

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  24. They’re not even smart enough to know when they’re being insulted by one of their own.

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  25. scottybeamer says:

    When was the last time there was an intelligent person in the republican party? ………or, do I know the answer!…:)

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  26. Tom Trouble says:

    I have often asked teabaggers “Are you really that stupid or do you have to work at it?”

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  27. UmptyDump says:

    As a former Republican who left when the majority of its members lost their minds, I have this to say:

    I will stop reading Juanita Jean the day when she stops being funny – which will be the same day that the Republicans return to sanity.

    Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view), I am looking forward to quite a few more years of shaking my head in wonderment, liberally(!) sprinkled with belly laughs.

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  28. Bobby Jindal believes in Creationism and has pushed it into schools in Louisiana.
    Enough said.

    If you want to believe in Creationism that is fine with me. But do not put in school as science.

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  29. I’m not sure why, but I’m beginning to see this as some sort of Repub twelve-step program in its very early stages. The problem is that they haven’t really sobered up yet.

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  30. Just to make their heads explode, we could make “Trotskyites” the T on that four letter word. Then chant it at the next GOPish rally we see: “STUpid, HATEful, InCOMPetent, TROTskyites!” “Thieves” is more accurate, but…would it even sting them? I mean, they’re proud of stealing and trying to steal elections–they think it’s a clever ploy.

    I was watching a Congressional committee hearing on the Pentagon Channel today (thank you, KNCT and Fort Hood) about a big scandal at Lackland AFB, and thinking how much dumber (and pinker) the Congresscritters sitting there looked than the generals (one white, but tanned by nature–not orange–and one black.) I don’t have the eyesight to read the nameplates on the TV screen anymore, but the committee chair had this very pink totally indoor face. Soft and shapeless, though not fat.

    The committee chair was squinching up his pink face when one of the generals said lowering the numbers of sexual assaults, etc. wasn’t enough–they wanted to eliminate them–and the committee chair came back with “Oh, it’s a societal problem…it’s how things are…” and I could read the general’s face (having been in a position to stand in front of generals and explain myself when something went pear-shaped.) Generals, in my experience (and that goes for colonels, majors, captains, and so on down through at least sergeants…) do not take kindly to the notion that because somebody else does something wrong somewhere else, they can’t eliminate somebody doing something wrong in their own command structure.

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  31. This man Ted Cruz is shaking up to be one of the dumbest people on the planet, he has already said Hagel and Kerry should not be sec of state and sec of the armed forces because in his words they d not like the military enough!
    Of course he has never served in the military, I think he is the same idiot that thinks the united nations is going to take over our golf courses.Anyway, every time he opens his mouth his foot goes in, where do they find them?

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  32. They are not just stupid they are corrupt – I guess everyone has heard about the Amgen story, when McConnelol and two others (one dem) at the last minute stuck in the fiscal cliff bill
    a half billion give away to Amgen the biggest drug maker in the world, after getting payoffs from lobbyists. This is where our medicare money is going!

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  33. Terri Kaufman says:

    “not be the stupid party” by the person who is ending mdicaid for hospice care…I could hardly believe what I was reading.

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