Yeah, Because Jesus is Scared of Them Mexicans, Too.

December 04, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

First I need to tell you where San Angelo, Texas, is.

It’s no where.  You can’t get there from anywhere.  If you’re born there, you have to die there because there’s no “over  yonder” in San Angelo.

But, there’s some real mean Baptists in San Angelo.

In Texas, where it’s legal to carry guns into any church without a specific no-firearms policy, Heights Baptist in remote San Angelo began offering concealed carry classes in June. The class was a response to security concerns among congregants.

“We’re about 150 miles from the border with Mexico and we’re very unsure about our insecure borders — about what’s coming into our cities,” Pastor James Miller told NRA News. “Personally, I feel more secure that should our worship time be interrupted by a life-threatening intrusion, that we would at least stand some kind of a chance in stopping either a mass killing or terrorizing experience.”

First off,  San Angelo is not a city.  It’s a hell hole.  There’s a difference.

And why would some Mexican do a mass killing in the Baptist Church?  It ain’t  like Baptists are the meanest most hateful people on planet …. whoa wait, never mind.  Wrong approach.

Okay, how about this?  Why would you rob a Baptist Church?  Hell, everybody in Texas knows the Baptists don’t have any money.  The Episcopalians have money.

Next month’s big attraction at the Baptist Church will be:  “Cannibalism:  A short lesson in survival.”

Thanks to everybody who gave me the heads up.

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34 Comments to “Yeah, Because Jesus is Scared of Them Mexicans, Too.”

  1. Olden Grey says:

    Do you have a mental image of me just shaking my head? Sigh….

  2. The pastor has lost his damned mind (sorry Mama). But he has a lot of company.

  3. Why do I have this mental image of Jesus’ second coming ending in a bloody hail of bullets in San Angelo?

  4. Marge Wood says:

    Now now. San Angelo IS a place. It’s between the wind farms and the oil rigs. Their McDonald’s is pretty good too. Just go to a different church.

  5. What Jesus had in mind:
    “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

    What San Angelo Baptist Pastor James Miller created is a group of angry (with Mexicans), frightened (of Mexicans), people who have come together for weapons training.

    What Pastor James Miller has in mind:
    “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, shoot him.”

  6. West Texas Oldster says:

    San Angelo is the epitome of a dry gulch infested with rattlers. In this case the snakes are the Baptist sociopaths like Pastor James Miller of Heights Baptist Church.

  7. DRAT~here I thought I was gonna be first with this bit of Xtian Idiocy by another “pastor” – when I call my 82 yro Mom in Big D and ask what she is doing, she always tells me she’s chasing the Mexicans off her back fence with a broom cuz the “news” says Big D is overrun~she just cannot find any~any more than she has seen all her life in Dallas anyhoo~

  8. John Peter Henson says:

    Insecure….unsecured?…can our border be insecure? Will it need therapy to become more secure?

  9. As far as I can remember, the only folks to go in shooting up churches took aim at African Americans, a doctor who performed life saving abortions, and other such folk. And you’d think with a 150 mile buffer, maybe those Baptists would have time to plan something more effective than hiding out in the House of the Lord armed to the teeth. Sheesh!

  10. Well give them some credit, they aren’t planning for the Canadian invasion……yet.

  11. Sam in Kyle says:

    They’re Baptists, what else do you expect? I think we need to think up a new designation for people like this cause they sure aren’t Christian.

  12. Another Ellen in Texas says:

    My mother moved to The Baptist Retirement Center in San Angelo in 2000. She spent the first 70 years of her life in El Paso. She taught school for 22 years, she speaks Spanish fluently and taught her four children to be respectful of others and their rights as American citizens. Since moving to San Angelo she has become narrow minded, judgmental and intolerant of those who don’t agree with her religious views. Yes, San Angelo is a snake pit that isn’t on the way to anywhere.

  13. If I recall correctly Jimmy Carter is a Baptist. I know of few people that are as fine and honorable as he is.

  14. I can envision Jesus sitting with the apostles around a campfire, giving them a course on concealing rocks under their tunics.

  15. Jesus…

  16. Actually, Carter left the SBC a few years ago, over their insistence that women remain subservient.

  17. Why would any Mexican–or any other sane human being–want to go to San Angelo? Sounds like it’s not worth the powder to blow it up.

  18. San Angelo? “Holy Angels?”

    Not no how no way.

  19. Well it’s raining at my house right now.
    Think Jesus is weeping?

    I wonder if, in the future, what people will think of the rabid right wing religious right nuts.
    Will they wonder why the rest of us did nothing to help these poor, unfortunate creatures?

  20. Isn’t San Angelo where the authorities grabbed all the children from the FLDS and created a months-long docudrama?

  21. Sam in Kyle says:

    Jimmy Carter broke with the Southern Baptist Church years ago. The SBC is what I refer to when I use the word “Baptist”.

  22. West Texas Oldster says:

    Evidently Pastor James Miller is an ardent follower of the teachings of Bryan Fischer.

    Bryan Fischer: Gun rights based on Christ’s teachings

  23. DaddywasaTexan says:

    Daddy was in the Air Force and we moved to San Angelo in 1956, right after my baby sister was born. What I remember most is frequent trips down to Cotulla to visit my grandmother, and being absolutely terrified by that gigantic lighted cross near Junction. Explains a lot about my life, come to think of it.

  24. I imagine that they are more worried about them there U.N. Troops that are gonna just pour into Texas at Obama’s orders.

  25. Oh please, it is not the Mexicans they fear…it is them there U.N. Troops that Obama is gonna order to attack Texas.

  26. Uncle Dave says:

    A few Babdist* facts for th uninitiated: Carter is a Baptist, but no longer affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. Harry Truman was a Baptist, and so is Bill Clinton. Historically, Baptists have been congregational with no central authority telling them what they are supposed to do or believe; some of us think that is a good thing. Baptists have not had an established creed or doctrine because of their instance on the “priesthood of the believer” concept; another good thing. Recently Southern Baptists have moved toward purity tests, as in one has to believe certain things and vote “right” to be a Christian; that is not a good thing at all. There are no liberal Baptists, just conservative Baptists and Flat-earth Baptists.**

    I am a former Baptist, who is thankful for the good things I was taught in Sunday School, Training Union and church camp. In the fifties young Baptist ministerial students forced me to re-examine the racisim I grew up with in the South and acknowledge racisim is ugly, unfair and absolutely inconsistent with Christian compassion. Thank God for those good folks and their influence.

    *That is how was often pronouced in my part of Texas.
    **Somewhere in the Bible there is mention of the “four corners of the earth, and if it has corners it sure can’t be round can it?

  27. daChipster says:

    This is a mostly true story:

    My cousin, Jesus Hachecristo, attended a Baptist Church with a girl he was dating once. “You wouldn’t believe it, Primo” he said afterwards, while drinking my beer from my cooler on my couch on my front porch. “This preacher, he starts getting on about the Spanish Armata…”

    “Armada,” I corrected.

    “I know it’s Armada, but this guy pronounced it like Ta-Ta. Anyway, he says God sunk the Armata to save England to save the future US from turning out like South America.”

    He paused and took a long pull on my beer.

    “Wracked with poverty and a dearth of leadership?” I prompted.

    “Predominantly Roman Catholic! And he THUNDERED that phrase out. I felt like he was lookin’ right at me.”

    “How many other obviously non-white guys were in attendance that Sunday?” I asked.


    “Then, cuz, he WAS looking right at you.”

  28. Uncle Dave:
    I spent every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and Thursday night in a Baptist church between 1954 and 1963.
    My mom is a Baptist Democrat living in a Methodist and Baptist republican town.
    Good people with bad thoughts can get along sometimes.

  29. Maybe they are just preparing to defend their favorite liquor store from those dad gum Mexicans who made the checkout line longer. Besides, Mexicans drink beer, barbecue goats and dance. Everybody knows that Jesus drank wine, ate fish and never ever danced. Of course, there is that rumor that Jan Brewer once tried to give him a lap dance.

  30. Aggieland liz says:

    Jesus was a poor schmo BillyRay! Jan Brewer never offered to dance for no poor schmo, I dont believe it!

  31. Steven Hernandez says:

    Great…Thanks for Nuthin…TELL EVERYONE ABOUT EPISCOPALIANS!!! now we have to get $500 dollar American folding money chl licenses….screw it… cheaper to just carry a long gun to church. On the bright side I won’t have to hear any sermons about the collection plate. My paster may not speak pump shotgun but she understands it.

  32. Borders as in more than one. Are they worried about New Mexicans, Oklahomians?

  33. That reminds me of the story about the man who died. St Peter met him at the gates of heaven, welcomed him, and gave him a tour. Truly a lovely place. At the end of the tour he asked, “What is that boarded up shack over there?” “Shhh,” St Peter said, “those are the Baptists, they think they are the only ones here.”

    Guess they were armed in there too.

  34. William Cheek says:

    I have visited San Angelo many times, my father having grown up in the area. Yes, it’s pretty conservative. But far from a hellhole. It’s got a fabulous (yes, that word is accurate) art museum, a new downtown library that is nothing short of dazzling, and a vibrant downtown bar and restaurant scene unlike anything else you will find in West Texas.

    They’re pretty conservative, but don’t condemn the whole burg because of some gun people. Thanks!