Have They Checked the Appalachian Trail?

December 04, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

It seems that Governor Jan Brewer has disappeared.

I would fear the rapture, but … hey, it’s Jan Brewer.  Slim chance of her going before me.  I’m real proud to say that.

She really hasn’t disappeared, but she has gone missing.

Brewer is out of state for a week on official business, but her staff won’t reveal where, according to The Associated Press. Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett, also a Republican, is the state’s acting governor, and certified election results Monday in Brewer’s place.

Official business?  Planning an invasion of Mexico is official business?

I suggest we put her face on milk cartons, but it’d curdle the milk.  Yeah,  I’m that catty.

Thanks to David for the heads up and warning.

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35 Comments to “Have They Checked the Appalachian Trail?”

  1. LucyTooners says:

    Probably a “special” visit to a recouperating ranch. Either for Dr 90210 or possibly the interventionist.

  2. No one is going on that trail with her.

    I find it so hard to believe that Arizona just re-elected this barfly.

  3. I’m thinking intensive Botox, index finger elongation and the lizardization of the rest of her brain.

  4. Aggieland liz says:

    Check the nearest Betty Ford Clinic. Betcha she went to sober up, poor thing. She’s a bad word, but addiction is a terrible problem. We can bless her heart about her trailer park roots and her finger, but if she’s gotta real problem I’d feel kinda bad about that. Sigh, I know, I’m a sap y’all. :(

  5. Umptydump says:

    Definitely not the Appalachian Trail since they have great trails in her home state around the Grand Canyon. Breaking news – somebody just caught a snapshot of her. She’s third from the left in this photo:


  6. Umptydump says:

    … Or I could be mistaken. She might be the one at the far end facing backwards.

  7. Beth Francis says:

    My money says she’s off getting the face lift she’s obviously needed for years.

  8. Cheryl, Gov. Brewer was elected once, in 2010, to a four-year term. She cannot run for re-election in 2014 because she served part of Janet Napolitano’s term when she left to head DHS.

    OTOH, the voters of Maricopa County (unfortunately) just re-elect Arpaio to another 4-year term as Sheriff. That’s four more years of corruption, waste/theft of taxpayer money and grandstanding for the cameras.

  9. No sap here & no surprise. Most women ‘disappear’ when they have plastic surgery to alleviate whatever makes them look old or paunchy. They go where no one recognizes them while the black/blue & puffiness subside.

  10. daChipster says:

    Did someone throw a bucket of water on her?

  11. Right now, she’s probably irritated that someone, somewhere has her stopped to check her papers, a boarding pass, matching I.D… If we’re lucky, her car will get pulled over by a non-Arizona Hispanic police officer, who’s sorry, but it won’t take much longer mam, because the radio seems to be down at the moment. Just another moment, mam…

  12. Umptydump says:

    @da Chipster – We won’t know for sure unless she melts!

  13. Sam in Kyle says:

    Could she be hiking on the Appalachian Trail? That worked out well for the SC governor.

  14. Facelift. She had another facelift. Betcha five dolla.

  15. daChipster says:

    Upanatm: do they even MAKE cranes that big?

  16. Arizona is just claiming she’s lost. I saw a bunch of RePig Govs on the teevee this afternoon – like ScottyBoy Walker and his ilk, they had met with the President. She is undoubtedly hiding in the White House broom closet where witches with wagging fingers live~

  17. “Brewer has served as Arizona’s governor since 2009, and was reelected to a second term last month.”

    Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2012/12/mystery-gov-brewers-whereabouts-84551.html#ixzz2E81xsSst

    I got the tidbit about her just being-re-elected from the referenced article.

  18. TexasEllen says:

    Rehab. No board certified plastic surgeon would undertake such a project.

  19. She’s auditioning as the Evil Tree in the remake of Wizard of Oz.

  20. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    She’s in an undisclosed location with Dick Cheney and his new transplanted heart. No, I can’t imagine what those two would be doing — my stomach is not that strong.

  21. Sam in Kyle says:

    One more facelift and her navel will be on top of her head. More jokes of that sort available but this is a family column.

  22. Don A FTW!

  23. I hear she believes in the Mayan calander prediction. She’s looking for a cave so she won’t float into space on Dec. 21, when the earth’s gravity will reverse. Personally, I think she’s wasting her time. She’s already out there.

  24. Is it a coincidence that both she AND Dick Armey have gone to ground on nearly the same day?
    Living in the Fox echo chamber that is TeaBaggistan …er…Arizona may have convinced Ms Jan that she, like other governors, is well poised to assume the leadership vacuum of the GOP. She’s off to some fancy-schmancy bo-tox boutique to erase several hundred thousand miles off her mug
    Dickie, wing-nut magnet, ex-economics prof and all around heart throb of the “Keep the Government Out of Medicare” gals may see himself as the next Karl Rove and close advisor of Ms. Brewer.
    Could they be planning a coup of the sane remnant of the GOP?
    Oh please oh please oh please…

  25. Aggieland liz says:

    Dear me Sam, you thinking she’ll be circus material after they’re done with her? She’s already a freak!

  26. EstrogeninAustin says:

    Way too late for a facelift. When you’ve tanned your skin to leather too many times, nothing brings it back.

  27. Thanks, Aggiland liz. And, JJ, yup you’re catty alright, and I believe I speak for many of your clients, when I say, “Well, at least thank God for that.”

  28. Hey, she was spending some time up in the mother ship getting re-tooled for an extension of her assignment which would put her date to be sucked up into the saucer and returned to Planet A$$hole off for another 4 years.

  29. SomedayGirl says:

    Well I hope you all feel bad now. Word is Brewer had to travel back East to attend the funeral of her sister. Such a sad story…during a freak storm a house fell on her.

  30. Aggieland liz says:

    @Someday/ So, um, whyfore all the secrecy? Sounds odd to me! In fact, damned fishy! I suppose we’ll see!

  31. Aggieland liz says:

    Wait, I see the pointed shoes sticking out from under the house now! I think I’d better go get some coffee…

  32. It dawned with the dawn this morning…chirren, she has gone not for a facelift, but for a face transplant. Can’t argue with the idea that she needs one now can you?

  33. Aggieland liz says:

    A personality transplant would do her far more good!

  34. Corinne Sabo says:

    Try the gigolo hot spots in Brazil. They get paid….

  35. See? I surmised she was looking for a cave. It’s reported today she might be in Afghanistan.