Oh Great, Now Debbie Riddle Can Play Angry Birds

November 26, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

It’s hard to decide who my favorite oddball in the Texas Lege is each session, but Debbie Riddle bubbles to the top most of the time.  Not only is she decidedly the meanest woman you ever met, I have often said that she could find a loophole in the law of gravity. Debbie invented the whole terror baby scare and once seriously said, “Where did this idea come from that everybody deserves free education, free medical care, free whatever? It comes from Moscow, from Russia. It comes straight out of the pit of hell.”  She also believes that children should starve to punish their parents.

And with Looney Leo Berman getting beat in the primary, the field narrows.  Berman once appeared on CNN and said that he didn’t believe that President Obama’s long form birth certificate was not legit because “there is no plaque in the hospital where he was supposedly born.”  Leo will be missed.

Anyway, you wanna know what’s worse than a fool?  A fool with an iPad.

Each lawmaker’s office in the Capitol will be offered two iPads for the session that begins Jan. 8. Each committee will get one, too. And the Legislature’s website has been upgraded to be readable on mobile devices for members of the public wishing to track legislation or find out about where and when committees are meeting.

Now, I’m pretty sure that we can convince Debbie Riddle that iPads are a tool of the devil.  And maybe teaching her to play games will keep her out of mischief.

And I, personally, am not too happy with spending money on iPads for a group of people who voted to cut $5  billion dollars from public education.  But that’s just me.

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17 Comments to “Oh Great, Now Debbie Riddle Can Play Angry Birds”

  1. Less expensive than the laptops they were going to purchase. But I don’t see anywhere that they are providing computers with which to back up the iPads, a necessary evil, unless they are planning to back everything up to the Cloud.

  2. Lorraine in Spring says:

    WOW! Think of the fun times coming when Crazzzy Debbie’s I-Pad is hacked. Is she a secret Bravo TV fan? Does she spend much time in Farmville? Just wait until she discovers Instagram.

    Oh yea. Halarity is sure to ensue with Debbie & her new toy.

  3. Can’t we just give her an Etch A Sketch and tell her it’s an iPad?

  4. Ms Behavior says:

    Dear Lord, please let Debbie Riddle discover Stachify. And then post the pictures by mistake to Twitter. Amen!

  5. TexasEllen says:

    This session is going to be a celebration of Luddites with iPads. If they can be taught solitare and angry birds, the state may suffer less damage than usual. However, it is time to form the pool for the first lost iPad and what “naughty bits” might be found in the history. Popcorn, please.

  6. Ralph Wiggam says:

    I’ll bet Debbie spends more time listening to AM radio than she does with an iPad.

  7. Hey, did she run everything when she was in high school or was that junior high? She looks like she really never left either one and sounds worse than that, too.

  8. Debbie will probably think Farmville is real and want to go inspect her property.

    I wonder if she’s read the State Constitution yet. Probably not.

  9. Sam in Kyle says:

    Debbie probably thinks an IPad is something women use…………..

  10. LynnN: We have a winner! LOL!

  11. daChipster says:

    Can you imagine if the public were also given access to the GPS location of each of those I-Pads? You’d see a third at the bar, a third at church and a third at the strip club. Every 4 hours, they’d rotate.

  12. Corinne Sabo says:

    Can she spell iPad?

  13. Glen Maxey says:

    Ok. Honest to God this is true. When the new Capitol renovation was done back in the 1990’s, they designers were thoughtful enough to wire it for the internets. But when I sat down in committee the first time, there were shiny brass plates covering the place where you’d expect to see a plug for your laptop.

    Inquiring minds (me) asked the leadership why they were covered up and blocked from useage. “Well, Glen. Ya know that if we let the boys plug in their computers they’ll be watchin porn and playing games instead of listening to testimony.”

    It took me two sessions to convince the Speaker to let me take that brass cover off so I could actually do some work while in committee hearings.

    I always thought having the boys watch porn and play games would make them more productive than sleeping and playing with themselves.

    Progress, I say. IPads for Idiots.

  14. Thank you, daChipster. I literally laughed out loud at the last sentence.

  15. As an experiment, the group promoting laptops for poor children worldwide gave an Ethiopian village with zero literacy, no school, no electricity, no nuthin’ a closed box with enough solar-powered laptop computers for each child to have one, then sat back and waited to see what would happen. The computers had educational games installed, in the hopes of teaching basic literacy and numeracy, as well as (for tracking purposes) internet connections via satellite. They had tracking software on the computers so they didn’t have to be there–they could tell how the computers were used from a long, long way away. But no instructions (there wasn’t even a label on the box with a picture suggesting what was inside.)

    Those very impoverished kids–who had never seen a book, a magazine, a TV, or met an adult who could read–opened the box and within 24 hours had figured out how to turn the computers on. Within a few weeks they were learning to read–in English, not their native language. And it went on from there, the kids absorbing; within a few months one or more had hacked the system and were loose on the internet.

    Now I’m sure our distinguished members of the legislature think they’re smarter than poor black kids from a remote village in Ethiopia…but I’d like to have seen them prove it by being given iPads with no labels, no instructions, and no help from any IT people. Because I think they wouldn’t have…I think they’d have proved they’re just the same whiny, over-entitled, ignorant bunch they’ve been.

  16. Elise Von Holden says:

    Do you have that link–I read that and then lost it, I think it is great…

  17. Janice Stewart says:

    Wait – whose brother-in-law or son-in-law sells I-Pads? Someone who shouldn’t be is likely making a big bundle off this sale.