Well, That Was Certainly MY Motivation

November 18, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Oh, bless their hearts, the Steeple People are still wondering if there is a God who let this election happen.

“So the idea, friends, is to make sure everybody is committing homosexual acts and they’re high on drugs, and then they vote for Democrats to increase the size of government and provide pretend security for the people high on drugs. That’s the Democratic vision in a nutshell. Somebody write that down, I think that’s worth putting on a poster somewhere. That’s what Democrats do and they do it well.” – Pastor Kevin Swanson, who adds that last week’s election also proves that “Americans like to kill their kids.”

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll!

We just made up that Libby Ledbetter crap, and social security, and health care, and an economy built to last, and saving the middle class, and homeland security, loving and caring about your neighbor — you know, all that crap to cover up that all we really want is drugs and sex.

No, seriously, ya’ll, God is laughing his butt off.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

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36 Comments to “Well, That Was Certainly MY Motivation”

  1. I suspect Swanson is just miffed ’cause no one offers him drugs or sex. Especially sex.

  2. Kate oDubhagain says:

    Maybe they should listen to the message of losing the election.

    Maybe God is trying to tell them something.

    Maybe they’re being heretical by ignoring it.

    Maybe they’re just a band of whining crybabies who didn’t get what they wanted.

    They lost. And that too bad, no maybe about it.

  3. Silly Republicans who never converse with Democrats asserting they know what Democrats think reveal their lack of data gathering.

    I know the same amount about the members of the fourth largest Italian party, but I do have the good sense not to display my ignorance.

  4. Couldn’t find a better example of the dumbing down of American schools since Reagan. Who needs critical thinking?

  5. and here i thought we wanted a land of opportunity! i am so grateful for president obama. i hear we owe “anonymous” a thank you too!

  6. Richard McDonald says:

    This is the kind mod thinking that lost them the election. I hope there people are around next time.

  7. Lorraine in Spring says:

    So when a hurricane hits, it’s God’s will to punish the non-believers but, when a black President wins re-election, God is….what?

    I say He’s teaching idiots like this a lesson.

  8. Kate O, this sounds right”Maybe they’re just a band of whining crybabies who didn’t get what they wanted”

  9. God DID answer some prayers – it just wasn’t the Republicans’ prayers.

  10. Dave’s not here, man.

  11. At one of the early Republican primary debates, Ron Paul said all drugs should be legalized, to the predictable boos and catcalls of the partisan audience. He responded by asking, “What you`re inferring is… if we legalize heroin tomorrow, everybody`s going to use heroin. How many people here would use heroin if it was legal? I bet nobody would put their hand up.” I’m pretty sure Ron Paul believes this because he knows if heroin was legal, he wouldn’t be tempted.
    Now Pastor Kevin Swanson takes the opposite position. If homosexuality and drugs were legal, he believes we’ll have a world where “everybody is committing homosexual acts and they’re high on drugs.” Sounds like the good Pastor has put some serious thought into that possibility.

  12. TexasTrailer:Knock,knock…….Dave????

  13. This is a quote applicable to the times, by Barry Goldwater (A Republican):

    “Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.” – Barry Goldwater, 1994.

  14. Time for a little Ozzy and CrAZY tRAin.
    The train has gone off the rails.


  15. Thank you to Judy and TrailerPark Trash. First time I’ve had a belly laugh in a couple of days.

    What is it with these pasty white boys who don’t know how to pick out glasses but always seem to be going on and on about the evils of the world? They often seem to have those pink lined eyes that indicate serious trouble with allergies. I think their scary looking.

    In Conclusion:
    No, I’m Dave. . .

  16. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Some people get loopy on home grown drugs. Some people get loopy on the opiate of the masses. This guy had an over dose.

  17. fleeting expletive says:

    My sainted deceased Mother in Law used to tell me “I have long prayed for patience, and God sent me Howard (her husband of 60 years).” Harold used to say “we’ll have been married 60 years next month, if we stick it out that long.”

    I have found that prayers are usually answered, but sometimes the answer is NO.

    I love this blog.

  18. Pink lined eyes can also mean a lot of other things such as drug use. Quick! Pass the collection plate. Pastor Swanson needs some dark glasses – big time!

  19. Marge Wood says:

    Honey, he’s still paying off his loans from seminary. He’s gotta make a living any way he can. Bless his heart.

    I love this blog too.

  20. Pastor Kevin? Sweetie, listen to me for a minute. I think I understand that your message was just a little attempt at humor as you know it. Sort of like those jokes you made while running for Student Council President…And when was that? Maybe, say… about a year ago? Did the jokes work then? No? Did those mean drug-taking, sex-having people laugh at you? Well, maybe when you grow up a little more, you might understand humor, or the lack thereof, a bit better. Or not.

    That having been said, Bro. Kev, sometimes I envy you folks your naivety…and then I come to my senses, and start worrying about the fact that YOU actually DO believe it.

    And I will third the “I love this blog” comment…

  21. I’m just happy the Rethugs are continuing to offend the voters. What a great stategy!

  22. I have found that prayers are usually answered, but sometimes the answer is NO.

    And sometimes, the answer is “not until you’re older”.

  23. mah fellow murkuhn says:

    Killing kids is a biblical thing. It’s right in there, you’re REQUIRED to kill them if they talk back to you. It’s not a suggestion, it’s a command. Right in there with the prohibition against eating shrimp, oysters, and catfish, and playing basketball & football. If you touch the skin of a pig, it’s an abomination and you have to die. It’s right there in the Bible, but some parts are the immutable word of God, and some parts can safely be ignored. You just have to figure out which parts to ignore. Some of us ignore all of it, some just the parts about shirmp, catfish, and football.

  24. Having talked with Barry Goldwater several times before and during his candidacy – as ham operator- I found him to be very smart – as this quote indicates. He had a good, kind heart but I did not agree with his politics. However, he was a good man who loved America intensely. He would be horrified to see what his party has become.

  25. Brother Kev looks like he has some of those old military-issued glasses (aka “birth control glasses”). I don’t think he has to worry about wimmen chasing him anyway.

    God certainly has a sense of humor when dealing with the rightwingnuts.

  26. I’m sixtyish and have never voted for a Republican in my life. I chose to be a Democrat because I related to the principals of that party (that and the fact that my momma would have drowned me as an infant if she thought I would become a Republican). Now I learn that I should have, as a Democrat, taken drugs and been promiscous. Well hell, it’s a little late for that. Maybe the wife and I will take to smokin’ a little weed during Wheel of Fortune. This being a Democrat just gets better all the time.

  27. Oh Lord, I misspelled principles. And I made fun of the Oklahomans. I’m going to shut up for a while.

  28. Aggieland liz says:

    I thought your smart phone corrected it David! We’ll give ya a pass. Feel free to continue to exercise your sense od humor. OK gave us Inofe and Coburn and I for one shall never forgive them! Ever!

  29. Thank you, Aggie. I notice that promiscuous is also incorrect. That must have been a typo. I suspect there is a Sunday evening Bible study group in Oklahoma making fun of my poor spelling.

  30. @david: Not bloody likely.

  31. For your pleasure, the “Dave” skit with Cheech and Chong:

    (Soft knocks at the door)
    CHONG: Who is it?
    CHEECH: It’s me, Dave. Open up, man, I got the stuff.
    (More knocks)
    CHONG: Who is it?
    CHEECH: It’s me, Dave, man. Open up, I got the stuff.
    CHONG: Who?
    CHEECH: It’s, Dave, man. Open up, I think the cops saw me come in here.
    (More knocks)
    CHONG: Who is it?
    CHEECH: It’s, Dave, man. Will you open up, I got the stuff with me.
    CHONG: Who?
    CHEECH: Dave, man. Open up.
    CHONG: Dave?
    CHEECH: Yeah, Dave. C’mon, man, open up, I think the cops saw me.
    CHONG: Dave’s not here.
    CHEECH: No, man, I’m Dave, man.
    (Sharp knocks at the door)
    CHEECH: Hey, c’mon, man.
    CHONG: Who is it?
    CHEECH: It’s Dave, man. Will you open up? I got the stuff with me.
    CHONG: Who?
    CHEECH: Dave, man. Open up.
    CHONG: Dave?
    CHEECH: Yeah, Dave.
    CHONG: Dave’s not here.
    CHEECH: What the hell? No, man, I am Dave, man. Will you…
    (More knocks)
    CHEECH: C’mon! Open up the door, will you? I got the stuff with me, I think the cops
    saw me.
    CHONG: Who is it?
    CHEECH: Oh, what the hell is it…c’mon. Open up the door! It’s Dave!
    CHONG: Who?
    CHEECH: Dave! D-A-V-E! Will you open up the goddam door!
    CHONG: Dave?
    CHEECH: Yeah, Dave!
    CHONG: Dave?
    CHEECH: Right, man. Dave. Now will you open up the door?
    CHONG: Dave’s not here.

  32. trailer park: thanks for ‘splainin’ that…

    david: i have an idea you related to the democratic *principals,* too. i’m in your age bracket, and off the top of my head, i think kennedy, carter, clinton, obama…those are some “principals” i’m tickled to relate to!

  33. Aghast Independent says:

    Methinks he doth protest too much.
    Isn’t this guy near Ted Haggard’s old stomping grounds?
    I’d bet a dollar to a donut that some enterprising reporter or private eye could quickly did up the usual hypocritical fudge on this clown. In flagrante delictio, crystal meth and all!!!

  34. @Aghast … Ted Haggard was in Colorado Springs, CO and I believe the Graham crowd is in Virginia or on the East Coast somewhere!! Colorado is also the stomping grounds for such groups as Focus on the Family and other such rightwing, ultra conservative groups that would like to think they can tell everyone how to vote, how to live, how to do what they consider to be wrong yet they are doing it all themselves!

  35. Yeah, sure, I believe Bobby Jindal and the rest of the RePiggery – they sure have turned themselves around – from STUPID PARTY to INSANE MORONS OF THE ALTERNATE REALITY~

  36. Whatever happened to the intellectuals in the Republican party? There’s been SERIOUS brain drain in the past 30 years.