Well, it appears that I’m fixing to be banned in Arizona.
Not that I mind all that much myself, but two of my favorite customers – Bud Malone and Gramian – live in Arizona and those two can raise more hell than a teevee evangelist behind closed doors.
Arizona is passing a law making it illegal to be annoying on the internet machine.
Back when I worked at the newspaper I described my job as, “I find out what people are doing and make them stop it.” Now my job description is “being rude on the internet.”
Personally, I think they’re picking on me. See for yourself:
“H.B. 2549 would make it a crime to use any electronic or digital device to communicate using obscene, lewd or profane language or to suggest a lewd or lascivious act if done with intent to ‘annoy,’ ‘offend,’ ‘harass’ or ‘terrify,’” the letter notes. … ‘Lewd’ and ‘profane’ are not defined in the statute or by reference. ‘Lewd’ is generally understood to mean lusty or sexual in nature and ‘profane’ is generally defined as disrespectful or irreverent about religion or religious practices.”
Well hell, they might as well shut down the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. We have the exclusive Gulf Coast distributorship of annoying. And almost every hairdo we suggest is meant to inspire lewd activity. Shoot, we’ve had women want their money back if we do a hairdo that doesn’t get them some action over at the VFW dance.
And if I cannot be disrespectful or irreverent, then I cannot be.
What the fool tarnation does Arizona have against lusty? Personally, in my mind the most annoying people on the planet are those who are not lusty. So now you’ve got a problem, Arizona – annoying or lusty, take your pick but you cannot have both.
You know, you would think that Arizona would be the last place on earth that wants to talk about annoying.
Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.