Don’t Worry. Don’t Worry. Rick Perry Has a Plan!

February 25, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Governor Rick Perry and State Attorney General Greg Abbott have both selected their talent portion of the beauty contest.  They are finely tuning their ability to throw away other people’s money.  They will both take the stage right after the swimsuit and cowboy boot competition and gleefully burn piles of taxpayers’ money while bowing toward Lynchburg, Virginia, home of the Blessed Virgin Protector of the Insane and TeeVee Evangelism, Jerry Fallwell.

In this case, Rick and Greg are refusing to accept our tax dollars from the federal government of $40 million designated for women’s health care because Planned Parenthood performs many of these services.

Republican lawmakers worked overtime last legislative session to design language that would keep any Planned Parenthood-affiliated clinics from receiving state family planning and women’s health dollars, despite the fact that taxpayer-funded clinics may not perform abortions. They got the backing of Abbott, who said their efforts were legal, and gave the state’s health commissioner the go-ahead to implement the new language.

But not to worry.  In their exulted self-images of being averagely almost semi-competent, they have opened Rick and Greg’s Women’s Health Clinic and Cocktail Lounge, offering free breast exams, the occasional vaginal probe, and lots of locker room giggling.  They are reasonably sure that’s every woman’s dream health care plan.  Rick has even volunteered his stirrups if needed.

We do not know what Greg Abbott did with the money his Momma gave him to go to law school.   We know he is well-schooled in hypocrisy torts (more on that some other time when I’m especially hacked at him), but he was absent the day they taught The Supremacy Clause, and he obviously put his hands over his ears at the mention of John Marshall.

For that reason, Verdelia and Thelma are making plans to go to Greg’s house and home-school him in constitutional law.  They have all the necessary schoolmarm accessories – a dunce cap, chalk, and Greg’s butt to use as a chalkboard.

I have come to the conclusion that Greg Abbott views the Civil War as a great tragedy in American history only because the wrong side won.

And, yes, that really is his campaign sign.  I could not make that up.  He used that because his political consultants thought that using the Stars and Bars was a tad over the top.  Okay, I did make that part up.

Thanks to Beth for the heads-up.

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7 Comments to “Don’t Worry. Don’t Worry. Rick Perry Has a Plan!”


  1. Didn’t someone once say, “The nine scariest words you’ll ever hear are, ‘Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Rick Perry has a plan!'”? Well, someone should have.

    I had more to say more on point, but every time I start it just turns into “grrrr”, and you have already heard it before.

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  2. Ralph Wiggam says:

    From the article:

    “At least 130,000 poor Texas women will lose access to cancer screenings, well-woman exams and contraception.”

    And they call themselves “pro-life” when their agenda is clearly anti-women.

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  3. Ellen Childress says:

    I would like to “tread” on Greg Abbott and Rick Perry. They need to be voted down and out and kicked to the curb along with the rest of the political failures, dimwits, and litter. Texas will not be able to survive another term with Rick Perry for governor, and I haven’t had any use for Greg Abbott since he had people in wheel chairs at the capitol and his office arrested. His “accident” that put him in a wheelchair also damaged his brain apparently. He does not play well with others.

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  4. Sam in Pearland says:

    Lots of low cost clinics have been devastated by the new legislation. There was an article in last week’s Chronicle about one in Houston and I’ve read that the People’s Clinic in Austin has been hurt. Neither clinic had anything to do with abortion, they were needed sources for cancer screening and routine visits. We’ve already seen how clinics in the Valley have been forced to close.

    The idiots who passed this bill didn’t have the foresight to see its consequences and haven’t expressed any sentiment about correcting yet another monumental screwup.

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  5. Beth Francis says:

    It’s going to take us women digging our spiked heels in and demanding to know who these jackasses (sorry, Momma) think they are. I guarantee that these idjits understand the importance of preventive maintenence and good diagnistics when it comes to their car. Or truck, most likely, being Texas and all. Don’t they think their wives/mothers/daughters deserve at least that much?

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  6. Where re the women and why are they not raising their voices?
    We have an obligation to ourselves, our daughters and future women of America to stand up to these bullies.
    Do they honestly want to be paying for chemo and radiation instead of preventative care.

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  7. Rick Perry’s own record as Governor of Texas porevs his assertion wrong. He thinks that state governments would do a better job than Medicare in delivering medical care, but in fact, Texas is downright rotten at ensuring that its residents have adequate access to medical care. On issues of health care and Social Security, Rick Perry has proved himself to be both ignorant and inept. The last thing we need is for Perry to bring those weaknesses to the White House. Apparently Truman thinks the governor of a state is His Excellency, the Dictator. Governor is just a traditional title of the chief executive officer of a state. It is his/her primary job to carry out the laws that the LEGISLATURE has passed, not to dictate what is to be or not to be done by the executive department.The governor of Texas has less power than the governors of some other states. In no state is the governor granted legislative power. If the legislature of Texas does not choose to establish state health care or a state pension system, the governor has no power to overrule the legislature.(S)he may recommend legislation to the legislature but (s)he cannot rule by decree.

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