The “I Love Yew, Newt” Daily Newt

January 10, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

I want to tell you one thing:  If Newt Gingrich is anything, it’s swanky.

Sheldon Adelson: straight fron central casting

Just about the time we were picking up the hymnals because the preaching is over and Mitt Romney won, a Vegas casino owner who is a dead ringer for every bad movie about the mafia, sends Newt $5 million.  Sheldon Adelson looks like a James Bond villain.  He needs a cat or a midget.

And what does Newt do with this money?  Pay off his Tiffany’s charge card?  Nope.  Spend a few bucks at Jenny Craig?  Nope.  Feed some poor little crippled children?  Get real.

Newt is spending that money to trash Mitt Romney for us.  You and me.  Democrats.

Ain’t that just the sweetest thing?

Newt Gingrich is now doing exactly what everyone in the Republican Party was afraid he was going to do: destroy them utterly if they decline to nominate him. It’s no surprise really, since this has been Newt’s MO for decades, but it sure is a helluva spectacle.

If Newt is going down, he’s taking the Republican Party with him.  Because he’s entitled to this nomination.

And everybody wants a candidate who is having his strings pulled by a long line of badly coifed women in tawdry affairs being ravished by Newt’s passion for America in the backseat of a foreign made car, a Vegas casino owner, and several guys down at the bowling alley who think “that ole Newt, he’s real smart.”

I love yew, Newt.  You’re swanky.

Thanks to Brian and Bruce for the heads-up.

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11 Comments to “The “I Love Yew, Newt” Daily Newt”

  1. Claus in DK says:

    “Beware of an old man in a hurry”.

  2. Well, now. All Newt needs to do now is take on Chris Christie as VP, and the next Sopranos is all set to go.

  3. You misspelled “skanky.”

  4. bud malone says:

    Gingrich endorsed by “Mr. Sarah Palin”. Enough said.

  5. This is absolutely the first time ever that I have agreed with anything the Newt is doing~I thank him for his vengeance, saves Obama’s campaign a ton of dough that can be spent on other FEWLS…

  6. Ralph Wiggam says:

    If a million of us got together and threw in five bucks each, could we buy a Newt of our own?

  7. Sam in Pearland says:

    Next Newt will get the coveted John Hagee endorsement.

  8. Lorraine in Spring says:

    It was only a matter of time before Newt threw his tantrum and exploded like Mr. Creosote (google it).

    I must admit, if he takes down the GOP for a generation or so I may buy him a thank you gift from Tiffany & Co.

  9. Anyone taking bets on whether or not Mrs. Palin will follow up on Toad’s endorsement of Newt? Thought not.

  10. Thank you, Newt. Where can we find someone like Newt to do a number on Oblabla?

  11. If you have not listened to it yet, check out the Austin Lounge Lizards’ ode to “Gingrich The Newt” written way back in 1992 or so…

    NOTE FROM JUANITA: I downloaded and heard it. It’s safe and adorable!