Archive for June, 2011

Loaded Dice

June 30, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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Damn, it is hard to keep up with all the Republican hanky-panky.

Now, it’s Eric Cantor.

It seems that he’s betting $15,000 perfectly good cash American money that he could “reap a small financial windfall from his investment in a mutual fund whose performance is directly affected by debt ceiling brinkmanship.”

Cantor is all over the debt reduction talks and even walked out of a meeting with Joe Biden about it last week.

“Doesn’t this bother somebody who is in charge of this kind of thing?” Juanita asks.

“Say what?  Nobody is in charge of these kinds of things?”

“Well hell, I give up,” she admits.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

It’s The Daily Rick Perry Is A Brat Game. And Today’s Winner Is ….

June 30, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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It flat ain’t none of your bizwax what Rick Perry does with taxpayer money and where he’s going with it.

At a time Gov. Rick Perry has considerably stepped up his travel schedule, the Legislature on Tuesday amended a school finance bill to keep the details of the cost of his security team secret for 18 months.

At Perry’s urging, lawmakers inserted language into SB1 that will keep the details of travel vouchers submitted by his Department of Public Safety security team secret for 18 months after trips are completed. Both the Texas House and Senate passed the bill Tuesday.

The governor has argued that allowing public scrutiny of the travel expenses of his security team would compromise his safety.

Safety?  Did they say safety?  I’ll betcha they didn’t say it with a straight face.  Honey, he will tromple small children in large fields to get to a Fox News camera.  Where he goes is no secret.  The only safety issue here is poll numbers.

We don’t want details – we want totals.  We want to know what his Presidential ambitions are costing the taxpayers of Texas.  Well, not so much “we,” as much as children doing without health insurance and teachers without jobs.  We here at the beauty salon have jobs.  Unlike Rick Perry.

“Babe,” Juanita sighs, “we ought to gift wrap his paycheck.”

Rick Perry Did Not Lie, Dammit. He’s Just Real Stoopid.

June 30, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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How dare members of the samestream media call our Governor a liar.

In April 2010, Texas Gov. Rick Perry declared in a column for the American Statesman that “the number of uninsured people in Massachusetts is about the same as it was when the mandates were passed in 2006.”

The governor was wrong. And not by a little. Lies and misinformation are commonplace in the fight to reform healthcare, but Perry’s claim was an out-and-out howler. As Boston Globe reporter Brian Mooney informs us in his magisterial “‘RomneyCare’”– a revolution that basically worked,” around 530,000 people were uninsured in Massachusetts before healthcare reform. Since 2006, “that number has dropped dramatically, by more than 400,000.” Massachusetts now boasts the lowest uninsurance rate in the nation — 1.9 percent.

In Texas, by contrast, around 20 percent of the population is uninsured — the highest rate in the nation.

Y’all, he is not lying.  He just can’t do math.  He’s  not real sparkling at reading either.

Please keep that in mind before you call him a liar again.

Thanks to Steve for the heads-up.

No. Sorry, But We Are Already Way Over Our Crazy Limit.

June 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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Oh Blessed Mother of Holy Homesteading, say it is not so.

On his way out at Fox News, entertainer Glenn Beck may be on his way to a new home in North Texas.

Beck has often joked about moving his family to Texas when his New York-based subscription talk show on GBTV.com starts in September.

You know nutty Texas State Senator Dan Patrick?  The guy who thinks trans-vaginal sonograms are fine but patdowns at the airport are obscene and  intrusive?  You remember Dan, don’t you?  Here’s what he says:

“Glenn could go anywhere in the country,” Patrick said by phone from Austin, “but he’s coming here because we are pro-business and because he loves the independent streak and conservative influence we have in Texas.”

Patrick said Beck will be “proud to call Texas home and we’ll be proud to have him here.”

Hey, Kemosabe, watch sayin’ that “we” stuff.

Thanks to Susan N. for the heads up.

The World is Going to End. No, Seriously, They Mean It This Time

June 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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I’ve had some fun with the Lyndon LaRouche political cult in the past.  Well, now they’re getting even.  They know when the world is ending.  So there.  We’re all going to burn in a fire ball on September 26th.

Luckily, I’m taking it pretty well.  You know, considering.

Comet Elenin is gonna kill us all, except for the billionaires who are already hiding out in secret caves in Colorado or Wyoming or somedamnplace.  LaRouche even made a YouTube about it.  I can’t put it on here because it has some dirty words on it but you can go see it in full color anti-scientific stereo insanity.

Now, I’m having trouble figuring all this out, but it has something to do with the Denver airport, seed storage in a secret very cold place, and some kind of big ole underground tunnel, but if we impeach Obama, all this will go away.  Click here, and check at the 4:05 mark.  That’s the part where Obama is determined to kill the entire human species.  We can “salvage the human species …. by removing Barack Obama from office.”

Customer Ralph suggests you Google ELEnin comet/brown dwarf for a heap ‘o good ole downhome insanity.

I Would Trust Her Completely in Handcuffs

June 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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Michelle Bachmann.  Oh dear.

Juanita immediately mutes the teevee set when Michelle Bachmann comes on because the sound of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window trying to stick to the panes of glass with its paws is more than she’s willing to hear on her stressful days.

So, it wasn’t until it hit the newspapers that Juanita learned that Michelle has been fibbing about that whole Evil Money From The Federal Government thingamabob.

One of the things a candidate should learn is not to lie when Michael Isikoff is around.  What he doesn’t have in dumb he makes up for in relentlessness.  It seems that he’s found that Michelle’s hubby is knee deep in federal money.

While Rep. Michele Bachmann has forcefully denounced the Medicaid program for swelling the “welfare rolls,” the mental health clinic run by her husband has been collecting annual Medicaid payments totaling over $137,000 for the treatment of patients since 2005, according to new figures obtained by NBC News.

“You know what worries me even more than that?” Juanita asks.  “That the dude runs a mental health clinic and he lets his wife roam the streets.”