If I Say It’s Christmas, You Better Go Buy Some Little Twinklin’ Lights

May 30, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized


When I told you guys about the late night kook talk radio and Dan Patrick and the TSA being part of the New World Order and everything, you thought I was just making that stuff up.

I was not.

Alex Jones: Lost and Mad

Sure ’nuff, the kook radio crowd and their leader Alex Jones showed up at the Texas State Capitol, promptly got lost, claimed we were siding with King George III, most of our representatives are closet homosexuals, and then they marched around warning that 9-11 was an inside job.  Well, maybe so, but I don’t think Texas had much to do with it.  We’re usually drunk, fixing to get drunk or barbequing, so we really don’t have time for that stuff.  Plus, most of us didn’t even know King George III, unless you’re talking about the King George Somethingorother who was the drunk wrestler.

Anyway, Senator Dan Patrick, who appears to be these folks’ hero, says he doesn’t know Alex Jones, the radio talk show host who organized the Go Get Lost At The Texas Capitol And Then Holler Some event.

When asked about the demonstration, Sen. Dan Patrick said that he was pleased that Texans had turned out to protest the failure of his anti-pat down legislation, but said that Jones was in no way affiliated with him.

“I don’t know who Alex Jones is… No idea,” Patrick said.

Oh, yeah?

Lookie here.

So, Dan, who was the guy claiming to be you, sounding exactly like you, on the Alex Jones radio show talking crazy stuff?  Sounds to me like Alex Jones is your Kemosabe, Tonto.

When you lay down with dogs, Dan, you get up with fleas.  Start scratching, Buddy.

“I don’t know who Alex Jones is… No idea,” Patrick said.  Is that gonna be your Senate slogan?

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8 Comments to “If I Say It’s Christmas, You Better Go Buy Some Little Twinklin’ Lights”

  1. He sounds like Corporal Schultz on Hogan’s Heroes. “I know nothing…nothing!”

  2. Corinne Sabo says:

    ” No idea” is a bit short; no good idea would be a lot more accurate.

  3. BarbinDC says:

    Another Rethug pol who is shocked, SHOCKED, I tell ya, to find out about those recording devices that have all their lip-flapping, breast-beating brain farts (sorry, Momma!) on permanent record. They really do think we are all stoopid.

  4. Rod Tanner says:

    I think “No Idea” is about right for ole Dan (I have two first names) Patrick. I am pretty sure he has “No Idea” about anything.

  5. I clicked on “lookie here” and I swear I tried to listen to all of it but 3 or 4 minutes in my eyes started to cross and I got to wondering what my cat was doing.

  6. Juanita Jean says:

    Rod, you do know that “Patrick” is his chosen name, right? His real name is Daniel Scott Goeb. He changed it to Patrick. I guess Senior Studmuffin was taken.


  7. Was Goeb the name he used back when he was sueing people?, before he was a darling of the “lawsuit reform” lobby?
    I think we should call him by that name; we probably could have saved a lot of trouble if we had kept calling “David Koresh” Vernon Howell.

  8. OldMayfly says:

    Speaking of names, back when The Lone Ranger was on radio we kids had a stupid joke:

    “Did you hear? The Long Ranger shot Tonto!”

    “Shot Tonto! Why?”

    “Because he found out what Kemosabe means.”