Most of you are familiar with Juanita’s favorite yachtsman, Republican Congressman Randy Neugebauer of deep West Texas. The district that Randy represents is landlocked and 95% dessert. The other 5% is asphalt.
“However, Randy bought a damn yacht with his campaign donations. Not a bass boat. Not even a ski boat. It’s a yacht. In fact, here’s what it looks like,” she shows a picture to everyone and they all say, “Damn, girl, that’ a yacht!”
“But,” Juanita continues, “Randy is real concerned about taxes. You wouldn’t think that what from all the money he takes from corporations who pass that cost along to consumers, but he is. And you know that he is because he says he is.”
So, when the budget came up, Randy had some dandy budget cutting ideas —
The House formally began debate, which is expected to last three days, Tuesday afternoon following some wrangling over the hundreds of amendments lawmakers want to attach to the package. More than 400 amendments were filed Monday night. Among them were a proposal from Rep. Steve Womack, R-Ark., to eliminate funding for the president’s Teleprompter and one from Rep. Randy Neugebauer, R-Texas, to strip funding for the alteration, repair or improvement of the executive residence of the White House and instead divert that amount to deficit reduction.
“Isn’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?” Juanita asks. “What grown-up adults these clever fellas are!”
“Some of you might remember Randy for hollering “Baby Killer” in the middle of Congress,” Juanita reminds. “He’s a very mature guy.”
“Randy Neugebauer wants the Obama girls to live in an unsafe house while he floats around on his yacht that he didn’t pay for. Randy’s welfare yacht.”
“Sumbitch,” Juanita mumbles so that Momma can’t hear.
“And I wonder how Randy feels about his friend Rick Perry spending $10,000 a month on his fancy rent house while Texas can’t pay for diddle squat. Hell, if we charge every Republican a penny for hypocrisy, we could pay off the national debt tomorrow.”