Because If Donald Trump is Anything, It’s Elegant

April 23, 2014

Trump Tweet

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You know, the same could be said for Donald Trump’s hair.

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Road Trip!

April 23, 2014

Y’all, it’s a BundyFest!  You gotta go sign up for this sucker.

My idea is to get a whole mess of heavily armed black and brown people along with old people on social security in walkers with heavy artillery strapped to them and see how long we get to stand on the Capitol steps before there’s some damn gun control passed.

Y’all picture the Bundy spectacle with black people.  Yeah, Ole Sean Hannity would have said the N word three days ago.

And speaking of Sean Hannity, he can dish it out but he sure can’t take it.  After Jon Stewart made him shine in the damfool department, Hannity went all Bill Ayers on Stewart.  Yeah, Bill Ayers.   Dude, that was 2007′s issue, catch up!

Thanks to TexasEllen for the heads up.

Friday May Bring Good News

April 23, 2014

First we get information that Friday is going to be an interesting day.

The Office of Congressional Ethics reported Tuesday an unnamed House member is under investigation by the House Ethics Committee.

According to the three-page OCE quarterly report, which disclosed no member names, the Ethics Committee will release the name of a new member under investigation no later than Sunday — meaning the announcement will likely come by Friday.

It’s anybody’s guess who it will be, but Texas – ta da! – has two possible entries.

Randy_NeugebauerFirst, there’s Yachting West Texas Congressman Randy Neugebauer.  The Citizen’s for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) filed a complaint on Dandy Randy for his obnoxious and show-off behavior to a female United States of Damn America Park Ranger during the government shut down, which of course Randy’s team caused.

Rep. Neugebauer demanded of the ranger, “How do you look at them and say — how do you deny them access?  I don’t get that.”  “It’s difficult,” the ranger replied.  Rep. Neugebauer continued to berate her, stating, “Park Service should be ashamed of themselves.”

Randy’s prissy behavior violates House Rule 23, which requires all congressvarmints conduct themselves “at all times in a manner that reflects creditably on the House.” Honey, you gotta go limbo low to not reflect credibility on this congress.

And our other chance at glory is … oh, come on, you know … Louie Gohmert.

Louie got a parking ticket from the National Park Service and Louie ain’t stooping to follow the law.  ’Cause he’s real special.

Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) questions U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder in WashingtonAccording to a report in Politico, on March 13, 2013, shortly after 11:00 p.m., Rep. Gohmert was issued a citation for parking his black Ford SUV in a spot reserved for National Park Service vehicles.  Rep. Gohmert removed the ticket from his windshield and placed it on a police car along with his business card.  He included the written message: “Oversight of Park Service is my job!  Natural Resources Thus the Congressional Plate in window.”  According to officers at the scene, Rep. Gohmert was “rude and irate,” and “ranting.”  Further, Rep. Gohmert told an officer he “did not have time to deal with the issue,” and said to officers, “I left my business card with the ticket and I am not paying for the ticket.”

Louie?  Ranting?  No, sireee, that’s Louie’s normal voice.  I do not know what rule his violates but I suspect maybe it’s human decency.

I’ll bet there’s not many other states with two shots at this ethics lottery.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

I Paid the Ransom and We’re Back!

April 23, 2014

My server had a system wide failure.  Personally, I think the gerbils were striking for higher minimum wage but I can’t prove that.

Thanks for your patience.  You can always check Juanita’s Facebook page for updates when problems happen.

Honey, Louie and Blake Don’t Need Any Help At All to Make Texas Look Bad

April 22, 2014

You know, I admire her gumption to make Texas look like the Honky Tonk Capitol of the World, but this Princess of WalMart could have left off the Dixie flag.

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Texas Tattoo

Thanks to Wayne for the heads up.

And If Anybody Would Know, It’s Louie

April 22, 2014

Remember last week when Texas Congressvarmint Blake Farenthold wanted to withhold Eric Holder’s paycheck?

Well, Louie Gohmert had to stay up nights to think of a way to top that level of wacky.  I mean, Honey, one-upping Blake Farenthold in the goofy department is not for amateurs.

You’ll be happy to know that Louie came through.

In an interview Friday on the Family Research Council’s Washington Watch, Rep. Louie Gohmert said that Congress should considering passing a resolution directing the sergeant at arms to arrest Attorney General Eric Holder.

Louie suggested that a good time to do it would have been during the State of the Union Address.

Louie has considered de-funding the entire Justice Department – yeah, the whole damn thing because American would be a much better place without so damn much justice.  But, failing that, he has a Plan B.

But apparently another option would be to direct a sergeant at arms, somebody comes into our jurisdiction at Capitol Hill, you restrain them until such time, and there is a cell there on Capitol Hill.

And if anybody would know about the cell on Capitol Hill, it would be Louie.

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Thanks to everybody for the heads up.